Blind? Impotent? Poisoned? Just Drink Some Red Wine

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Somebody get this kid some vino!

​Gut Check thought the snake oil salesman was supposed to be hawking, well, snake oil. But apparently, he's switched to merlot. A new study released by the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry shows that drinking wine prevents sunburn and even skin cancer because the flavonoids in grapes stops the death of skin cells.

This seems to be the newest in a long list of illnesses wine can prevent. Drank in moderation, red wine is known to lower the risk of cancer and help hypertension. But a sunburn? Seems risky to crack open a bottle of vino and let it lull you into a deep slumber in the bright sun. We've got a better suggestion for preventing skin damage: sunscreen. Better yet, stay out of the sun. Yesterday's high was 102 degrees. What are you doing outside?

Nevertheless, Gut Check went trolling to see what other outrageous ailments wine claims to cure. We compiled a list after the jump.

5. Impotence: Researchers found that red wine helped rats maintain erections, but take note: Too much booze will leave you with a bad case of brewer's droop.

4. Tooth decay: Originally, we thought that wine-flavored toothpaste sounded great, but there is that whole issue of yellowing your teeth. Still, some researchers think that red wine makes it harder for bacteria to bind to teeth.

3. Radiation: As it turns out, a case of wine might just be the best defense in the face of nuclear war. As if we won't already be drinking when it breaks out.

2. Blindness: Vision getting a little fuzzy? The resveratrol found in red wine is thought to preserve sight. You might be seeing double after one too many glasses, but it's worth it in the long run.

1. Food poisoning: Now that salmonella has been found in ground turkey meat, you might want to pick up a case of red wine. It has been found to combat E. coli, listeria and salmonella. Because this is just what you want to drink while you're hugging the porcelain.