Brace Yourself: 7-Eleven's Serving Up Free Coffee and Virtual Scaldings This Week

Categories: Java Enabled

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7-Eleven
Free 7-Eleven coffee and exacting online revenge? Oh, thank heaven!
​7-Eleven's giving away free stuff, and it's not even on a date that has a seven or eleven in it! This Thursday, from 7 to 11 a.m. -- ah, there it is -- 7-Eleven stores will be giving away free medium cups of coffee in its Coffree! promotion.

It's part of a larger coffee event that involves dropping people you don't like into near-boiling liquids. The company allowed fans to vote on Facebook on what "drips" they'd most like to see in a dunking booth of hot java. Yesterday the announced the doomed future burn victims: the Snob, the Know-it-All and the Over-Sharer. The online dunking begins on Wednesday.

Inflicting third-degree burns on nameless stereotypes doesn't seem that satisfying. Although we were tardy to the voting, Gut Check has its own list of three people we'd like to dunk.

  1. Whoever thought blueberry coffee from 7-Eleven would be a taste treat worth selling.
  2. The San Diego Gumby who attempted to rob a 7-Eleven earlier this month.
  3. abandoned_slurpees.jpg
    Robin Wheeler
    Don't pull this crap on Coffree Day.
    Customers who disregard the "no iced coffee" disclaimer on the sign, make iced coffees, then abandon them at the cash register. They're the same people who tried to get away with free quarts of Slurpees on Free Slurpee Day.

    We'll give the guy who ditched the lunchtime Busch tallboy a pass. He's just trying to better himself. Let that guy have a free bucket of iced French-vanilla coffee mixed with three flavored syrups of his choice and topped with as many marshmallows as he wants. He's earned it.


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