Gordon Ramsay Makes Kmart More Terrifying Than it Already Was

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​Kmart stores can be creepy. They're a little too deserted, a little too unkempt, and there's always the feeling that you might stumble upon a deranged hobo urinating in the dark corner of the children's clothing department.

Since the mid-'90s, it's always been best to stick to the center aisles, where the delicate pastels of Martha Stewart's housewares line could distract you from the stench of a Dr. Thunder soda explosion long ignored in the food aisle. Pretty, pretty robin's egg green mixing bowls and handy-dandy glass containers topped with shiny chrome lids. We might survive this Kmart trip after all.

Except Martha doesn't live here anymore.

Gordon does.

That's right. Mean bastard Gordon Ramsay's housewares have replaced Martha's at the creepy neighborhood retailer you never visit. What better way to make his entrance than with a terrifying commercial where a maniacally grinning Ramsay wields a knife while uncomfortably embracing a guy who thought he was in the clear after he dodged the hobo?