Ten Reasons Why We're Drinking Dirt Cheap's Sweet Cheeks Wine

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Robin Wheeler
Dirt Cheap Sweet Cheeks -- why are we drinking this?
When Gut Check has out-of-town guests, they never fail to be amazed by one of St. Louis' most iconic food and beverage locations.

That's right -- they all dig Dirt Cheap. We hang with some really classy types! Some of them were in town last weekend. And while our guests' pilgrimage to the Affton Dirt Cheap (8455 Gravois Rd., 314-351-7714) didn't yield the traditional St. Louis souvenir, a sixer of Dirt Cheap-brand beer, our people came back with something new: Dirt Cheap Sweet Cheeks sweet red wine.

No, we didn't drink it. Just holding the bottle gave us a contact hangover. We sent it (and some frozen daiquiris-in-a-bag) packing with our guests, but not before inspecting the label.

It might be one of the most interesting wine labels we've seen in a while.

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Robin Wheeler
Sweet Cheeks is a Missouri wine, produced by Cedar Ridge Winery in Augusta.

No, we haven't heard of it, either. Some Googling turns up a Cedar Ridge Winery/Vineyard in both Iowa and Washington State, but nothing in Augusta.

But we have to commend Dirt Cheap for adding what needs to be a part of every bargain wine label: a place to note why you're drinking this wine. Finally! No more waking up and saying, "Why the hell did I drink that?"

Why would we drink Sweet Cheeks wine anyway?

  1. We're easing into the hobo lifestyle and this is the perfect stepping stone between Three Buck Chuck and Thunderbird.
  2. Our outfits match the chicken's and we took it as a sign.
  3. We ran out of fermented Capri Sun packets.
  4. We love that chickeny taste.
  5. We hate life, self.
  6. We're punishing our livers. What has that bastard done for you, anyway?
  7. We don't want to remember anything about this night or who we were with.
  8. It tastes great in smoothies
  9. It was a wedding gift.
  10. We're reliving memories of St. Louis, and the brick of Provel already turned green.
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3 comments
Amelia Miller
Amelia Miller

Being one of said out-town-guests, I have to say we were disappointed when the Dirt Cheap location we visited first (The Hwy 44 and Hampton Ave Location) *DID NOT CARRY LIQUOR*! What kind of Dirt Cheap is that? Not a single 40 oz. in the cooler! And the location where that bottle of Sweet Cheeks was procured did not carry the Infamous Dirt Cheap Beer!  I may have lost my reason for coming to Saint Louis!

Jake
Jake

Cedar Ridge is a label owned by August Wine Company (you need to work on your googling skills). No telling what they put in it, though.

Mike N.
Mike N.

Actually that would be Augusta Wine Company, owned by Tony Kooyumjian.

And you know, the Affton Dirt Cheap is one of the skankier in town, but I guess that adds to the charm.  I miss their Dirt Cheap beer, though, which I believe was brewed by Iron City Brewery.  I think it's funny that there are knock off Dirt Cheaps in town who use the same font on their sign.  There's one on 141 in Valley Park called Cheap Cheap, and one on 61-67 in the twin cities (Festus-Crystal City) called Daily Cheap.  I was surprised when I was on the road in Paducah, KY, we went to a place called Dirt Cheap, and it turns out it's actually the real Dirt Cheap!

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