Rummy Bears: An Illustrated Cautionary Tale

vodka bears 1.jpg
Chrissy Wilmes
Step 1: Procure the supplies.
Every few months some dumbshit American teen discovers a new, idiotic way to get high. (Whatever happened to good old reefer madness?) And then on the next slow news day, the story's reported with a hint of panic and a few exaggerations to imply that your kids are probably dumbshits, too.

Kids inhale cow-shit-methane and nutmeg, they iDose and, of course, they do whip its. The lastest trend? Smuggling booze into school inside adorable little Gummy Bears. As you know, Gut Check is deeply concerned with the welfare of your precious little babies. So, we began investigating.

Kids, when you soak gummy bears in alcohol, they get drunk. And this is what happens.

vodka bears 2.jpg
Chrissy Wilmes
Step 2: Dump everything into a jar.
A Google search for "how to make vodka gummy bears" will pull up dozens of results, but the recipe's pretty simple: toss a bag of gummy bears into a glass container, add enough vodka to cover the bears, set in fridge for 1-5 days.

So, that's what we did. And then we made another batch with rum ("rummy bears") and another with tequila (sub gummy worms for bears, naturally), labeled them with a nice note requesting that our fellow employees please abstain from eating our booze bears until further notice, and left the gummies to relax in their liquor-soaked orgy.

vodka bears 3.jpg
Chrissy Wilmes
Steps 3-6: Leave gummies in refrigerator for 24 hours. Remove from refrigerator. Drain. Attempt to choke them down.
We'd planned to let the bears chill for about a week, checking them daily. But after only 24 hours, the bears were plump and the liquor was nearly all absorbed.

We drained the excess liquid and plopped the samples onto a plate. Our test subjects, a motley bunch of hard-drinking journalists, were intrigued and excited at the opportunity to get a buzz on at the office by eating adorable booze-soaked gummies.




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17 comments
TitanBrenden
TitanBrenden

No doubt, an absolute great illustrated cautionary tale. :)
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RummyBears87
RummyBears87

The recipe actually calls for Grenadine to be added to the RUM, mixed, then poured over the Gummy Bears... to make "Rummy Bears". This is not a 'new" recipe..we were doing this in college..circa 1987.

Ali
Ali

I made some gummy worms soaked in Green Apple flavored vodka for a Halloween party last weekend and they were really good. A total hit! The trick to keep them from being too slimy is letting them rest on paper towels for an hour or so before serving, they then get sticky,

hotdogwaffles
hotdogwaffles

you should probably use some good booze. :) 

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