Rummy Bears: An Illustrated Cautionary Tale
|Step 1: Procure the supplies.|
Kids inhale cow-shit-methane and nutmeg, they iDose and, of course, they do whip its. The lastest trend? Smuggling booze into school inside adorable little Gummy Bears. As you know, Gut Check is deeply concerned with the welfare of your precious little babies. So, we began investigating.
Kids, when you soak gummy bears in alcohol, they get drunk. And this is what happens.
|Step 2: Dump everything into a jar.|
So, that's what we did. And then we made another batch with rum ("rummy bears") and another with tequila (sub gummy worms for bears, naturally), labeled them with a nice note requesting that our fellow employees please abstain from eating our booze bears until further notice, and left the gummies to relax in their liquor-soaked orgy.
|Steps 3-6: Leave gummies in refrigerator for 24 hours. Remove from refrigerator. Drain. Attempt to choke them down.|
We drained the excess liquid and plopped the samples onto a plate. Our test subjects, a motley bunch of hard-drinking journalists, were intrigued and excited at the opportunity to get a buzz on at the office by eating adorable booze-soaked gummies.