Dear Jessica Simpson: Name Your Baby After These Grape Varieties, Not Zinfandel
|Not an appropriate name for baby|
Yes, that's right: Zinfandel, as in little-z zinfandel, the grape that produces either A) a brawny red, or B) a wussy "white." So I guess they would have had their bases covered however the kid turned out.
At any rate, cooler heads prevailed, and baby Simpson will be named Maxwell. Which is a shame, really. As ridiculous a name as "Zinfandel" might have been, Simpson and her baby daddy were on to something. Booze has been at least partly responsible for more than a few instances of conception, after all. Why not honor its role as a, um, social lubricant?
The trick, of course, is to find a grape with a lovely and/or cool name -- and that will raise eyebrows only among wine aficionados. On behalf of parents-to-be everywhere, Gut Check has gone ahead and identified ten such grapes.
Ten Grapes That Would Make Better Names for Jessica Simpson's (or Your) Baby Than Zinfandel