Eight Superior Alternatives to Thanksgiving Turkey

Categories: Gobble Gobble

Ian Froeb
Pizza Is there any American who doesn't love pizza? Despite our regional differences and prejudices (slices versus deep dish versus Provel versus clams versus pineapple versus cornmeal crust versus honey), pizza brings us together. Which is how it should be on this most American of holidays. Plus, it can be adjusted to accommodate almost any food allergy or issue, a matter of vital importance at a family dinner. What other food has that amazing power to make everyone happy?

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Hot Pocket The Hot Pocket is the most disgusting of processed foods. But if someone replaced the turkey in our Thanksgiving dinner with a Hot Pocket, we would not complain. Not as long as we still had our mashed potatoes and stuffing and hot buttered rolls and apple pie a la mode for dessert. (Yes, yes, pumpkin is the Tradition, but we have almost as many issues with pumpkin pie as we do with turkey.) And the chips and dip while we sit through the football game. (Go Lions!) And the chocolate that somebody will invariably bring as a hostess gift. With all this bounty, who could blame us for ignoring the lousiest component of the meal, the Hot Pocket?

Which just goes to prove: the traditional Thanksgiving meal is great despite the turkey, not because of it.

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