Colonel Sanders (KFC)
|The Colonel is going to town on whatever that is.|
We hear KFC is majorly into bondage and, um, gestation crates. So that's encouraging. This much is also known: The Colonel was über-religious, married his much younger secretary and coined the phrase "finger-lickin' good."
Caesar (Little Caesar's) The diminutive emperor turned out to be a bit of a dark horse in this competition, but he has one thing going for him that no one else on this list does: he's Roman. Them Romans was into some freaky biznass. The Roman historian Suetonius wrote all about Caesar's sexual escapades in the first century, including how he got down with his political rivals' wives and revived the Dionysian Mysteries (essentially a drunken orgy). We aren't huge fans of his pizza, but that's not what we're
|Hot-N-Ready is right.|poling polling here. Hail, Caesar!