14 St. Louis Celebrities Who Ought to Name a Candy After Themselves
|This un-doctored photo of Jenna Fischer captures "Jenna Swedish Fischer" better than Gut Check's rudimentary PhotoShop skills ever could.|
There's no way Jenna Fischer wasn't making this list. Lucky for Gut Check, Fischer's last name offers a rather obvious candy conclusion in Jenna's Swedish Fischer. Who knows? It might even spawn a companion Jenna's Swedish Fischer vodka brand, if executed properly.
Albert Pujols' Payday
These candy bars taste very good but cost $254 million. Unfortunately we're really only prepared to pay $210 million. C'est la vie.
Todd Akin's Legitimate Peeps
They were only briefly relevant this past year, and even then: barf.
Charles Lindbergh's Spirit of St. Chew-Us Saltwater Taffy
Well, Charles Lindbergh and saltwater taffy are both products of America, nostalgia-inducing for old people and best when near an ocean. So. Sure.
Lindbergh's Baby Ruth
If the taffy tanks, there's always Lindbergh's Baby Ruth. We even thought of a catchy slogan: "So good, everyone will want to steal it from you!"