No Reservations: Gut Check's Valentine's Day Fast-Food Experiment


Taco Bell
Taco Bell: Taco Bell, ______ speaking, may I help you?

Riverfront Times: Hello, I'm calling on behalf of my employer. I'd like to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, for around 7:30.

I'm sorry, honey, this is Taco Bell.

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Travis Pitts

Yes.

You don't need a reservation, honey.

Oh, you don't?

No.

So he could just come on in?

[Click]

A Different Taco Bell
Taco Bell: Taco Bell, this is ______ speaking, how can I help you?

Riverfront Times: Hello, I'd like to make a reservation for my employer and his girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Around 7:30?

For...Taco Bell?

Yes. Do you take reservations?

Oh. No, you just -- we don't take reservations. But there'll be plenty of room for you guys to come up here and sit.

OK, well do you have any Valentine's Day specials?

No, we do not.

Oh, really? I'm sorry, I've never been to a Taco Bell. My boss just wanted me to call and find out. Um, if it's warm enough, will you have any instruments outside? Mariachis? Do you have an outside table?

No, we're a fast-food restaurant.

Ohhhhh, OK. Actually, they went to their first date at Taco Bell three years ago, and he's planning on proposing to her, and he was wondering if you could, like, hide an engagement ring in something.

No, we cannot.

You can't do that if he brings it in?

Nope. Health-department reasons. They're very strict.

Oh, interesting. All right. So you won't have any sort of entertainment?

No, we will not.

Will you have valet parking or anything?

No, we will not.

So you're not anticipating a large crowd?

I...no.

OK. Do you have any drink specials for Valentine's Day?

We don't serve anything but soda. And Frutista Freeze.

Oh. Interesting! So if he comes in, will he be able to get a relatively private table?

[Silence]

Hello?

I mean...no. I mean, this is a fast-food restaurant, ma'am. I don't know what to tell you besides that. Taco Bell is known around the world as a fast-food restaurant with no reservations and nothing like that. If you come in here, we'll give you great service if we can, but we don't have any instruments, private tables, candlelight, anything special like that. It's a fast-food restaurant.

OK, well I will let him know. Thank you so much.

Next..."I want to make sure I'm on the right page here. You are calling Hardee's.

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