[VIDEO] Flying Saucer Opening Marred by Evil Royals Fan Plot; Kicks Off Most Important Drinking Contest of All Time
Twenty-four hours before the Flying Saucer opening, Troika Brodsky, the communications director at Schlafly, got wind of the plot.
"My immediate response from the depths inside was, 'Hell no, not on my watch,'" he says. (To be clear, Schlafly itself is not taking sides in the beer battle.)
Evil-doer Joe Hoffmann points to the spot where the No. 1 plate will be hung.
He turned to the guys who run the local beer forum STL Hops, which posted an entry seeking a champion.
I have a backer that is willing to pay for 3 beers per day for the next 67 days to make sure that a Cardinals fan gets that first plate. But, this is what is required:
- You have to be 99.99999999999% certain you're going to be available for the next 67 days. This means you can't leave town, you can't take a vacation. You have to be here for the next 67 days in a row.
- You have to be safe. While three beers won't wreck most of us, we don't want you doing anything stupid.
- You have to be strong. This is going to require 100% commitment. My suggestion is that the closer you live to the Saucer, the better.
In less than ten minutes, Richard Haegele stepped up and entered the pages of history with two simple words: "I volunteer." After some debate -- others thought it should be a woman who puts Hoffmann in his place -- a consensus was reached and Haegele accepted the mantle of Cardinals champion.
Here's how it has to happen: 67 days, three beers per day (that's the limit to count toward the U.F.O. Club per day). They can't miss a single day without risking the other pulling ahead. If they are neck-in-neck all the way to the 67th day...well, that hasn't been determined yet. It may come down to a drink off.
Needless to say, this is very exciting. Both Haegele and Hoffmann were at the opening of Flying Saucer last night to drink their inaugural three beers. Gut Check caught up with them to talk a little trash on one another:
At this point it's not clear if either competitor has an advantage. Both men work close to Flying Saucer, and neither is planning to be out of town at all in the next two months. While Hoffmann has already gotten $522 in donations, Brodsky's promised to find enough money to pay for all of Haegele's beers, plus a couple of cases of Schlafly and a Cardinals jersey to boot. There's a donation page in the works.
Brodsky says Schlafly is not an official sponsor in any sense of this event (Tentatively named Saucerwatch? Anyone got anything better?), but he is personally committed to making this as big a deal as possible -- seeing if the Cardinals want in on the action or any of the other local breweries.
@TheShowMePlate a.k.a. Joe Hoffmann Saucerwatch: First Beer
"There's too much damn fun to be had with this," says Brodsky.
We'll be keeping close tabs on Saucerwatch and Hoffmann is charting his progress on an unholy Twitter account named @TheShowMePlate. Stay tuned!
(Big hat tip to @davbak a.k.a. Dave Baker.)