10 Reasons Why Your Waiter is Judging You


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Illustration by Kevin Cannon

8. You want your steak well done.

If the idea of eating meat makes you so uncomfortable that you can't bear to slurp its delicious, bloody, animal juices, get something that is best eaten cooked through... Like chicken or eggplant or pasta. It's the restaurant's job to serve you food that you'll enjoy, and we're not going to tell you you can't sear all of the animal spirit and life blood from a 30-day dry-aged, heritage beef steak. But here's where your waiter draws the line: If you MUST have your steak well done, it's going to take extra time to cook it all the way through, so please be patient, and don't take your mounting hunger out on us.

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Illustration by Kevin Cannon

7. You order any of the drinks that indicate, beyond a measure of doubt, that you're an asshole.



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