10 Reasons Why Your Waiter is Judging You

Illustration by Kevin Cannon

2. Your child is screaming or running around the restaurant or playing peek-a-boo under the table, and you're allowing it.

If your child is not sitting at the table where they belong, your waiter is writing you off as a piss-poor parent or a pushover. And if that's not enough to deter you, the safety hazard should: What if your kid runs into a server carrying scalding tea or soup? Hire a babysitter if you can't control junior. And if it's after 9 p.m. and your child is under the age of eight, that kid should be in bed.

Illustration by Kevin Cannon

1. You fail to use basic toddler-manners in proper context, like the words "Please," "Thank you," and "Excuse me."

Interrupting or cutting people off when they're speaking to you is rude. Basic human respect and manners are expected of you, particularly at the dinner table.

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