Eckert's pies, but not necessarily filled with Eckert's fruit.

​This Monday, January 23, marks an important national holiday: National Pie Day. This great festival is the brainchild of the American Pie Council -- and how did we not know that such an organization existed, devoted exclusively to the celebration of pie? From this day forward, we resolve that all the spare change we find in the nooks and crannies of our car and couch will go toward our American Pie Council Membership fund ($40 lifetime for amateurs).

In celebration of National Pie Day, Eckert's Country Store and Farms -- Riverfront Times "Best Pie" for 2011 -- will be offering a special buy-one-get-one-free pie deal, featuring fourteen different types of pie. Next door, Eckert's Country Restaurant will be selling all its desserts for a dollar. Joy! Joy! Joy!

Except...except...it turns out we made a grievous error in our citation for "Best Pie."

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Courtesy of See's Candies

​With Christmas weekend just around the corner, the need for sweets increases with each passing day to provide that extra burst of sublime energy to get through high-strung holidays. Luckily, for last minute shoppers and sugar addicts alike, See's Candies continues to offer its gourmet chocolates straight on through Dec. 26 at many local malls.

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http://commons.wikimedia.org

​Update: A Norwegian blogger named Tommy recently posted a vlog where he expressed disgust at Americans who've been taking the crisis lightly. We're also pretty sure he calls us fat, and he mentions something about Norwegians eating cats. Check out the video after the jump.

Norway done goofed this year, hopping on the Atkins diet craze about 10 years late and depleting a lot of the available butter in the area. Low-carb, high-fat diets throughout the year paired with a rainy summer that affected livestock feed and milk production has left Nordic grocery stores looking like Paula Deen's worst nightmare. This is a problem, because, well, Norwegians want cookies on Christmas, too.

Butter is so scarce that online auctions are selling it at five times the usual amount, the equivalent of almost $12 for a single stick. A Russian smuggler was also caught last week with 200 pounds of butter in the trunk of his car as he passed into Norway.

Given the current butter crisis (tragedy, catastrophe, disaster, etc.) in Norway, Gut Check has compiled a list of our favorite buttery treats to pack up and ship over to all our Norwegian friends this holiday season.

6. Orange Cream Sugar Cookies
We found this recipe from an online contest seeking recipes that portray a "successful use of butter as a main ingredient." This recipe certainly does just that, with a cookie consisting of a ratio of one cup butter to three cups flour, and a similar icing that calls for one cup butter to three cups powered sugar. That's two cups of butter total, the same as four whole sticks.

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Mabel Suen

​If Gut Check told you that a baked good existed in the world that had no sugar, salt, butter, artificial flavors or additional processed ingredients and still tasted delightful, would you believe it? Well, free-thinking friends, meet Princess Ezenwa and her company Princess Delights Bakery, which offers gourmet specialty breads that are 100% all natural, 100% whole wheat and bran, and lack all the ingredients which have gained a bad reputation for health's sake.

Ezenwa grew up working for her father's bakery in Nigeria, which sold whole wheat and enriched breads, learning about daily operations from the get-go. Her mother also led a confectionary under the same company for cookies and cakes.

"The Silas bread is something out of this world," says Ezenwa. "The recipes for my father's breads are totally different from American breads, and his motto always stuck with me -- 'First, and still the best.' After learning from him, I wanted to do something unique."

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Wikipedia

Dragon's beard candy and the guy who makes it will be America's downfall.

​When China takes over, it's not going to be because America's in so much financial debt to them.

It's going to happen because Americans will be so mesmerized by the sight of a guy who can take a hard brick of honey and some cornstarch, and in a mere two minutes turn it into 16,000 fine strings of honey which he then turns into candy.

First they mesmerize us with the technique, then they drug us with sugar. We're a nation that can't stop when we walk past a fudge-making shop -- and they've been doing the same thing in the same mall for 30 years.

We don't stand a chance.

(Yes, this video was shot in Korea, but it depicts the making of dragon's beard candy, which was invented in China more than 2,000 years ago. See? It's taking over.)

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Amanda Woytus

Tour D'Onut bikers line up in front of John Donut before moseying to the second shop.

​At 9 a.m. Saturday, the inside of Soulard's John Donut was packed with about 30 people dressed in their athletic finest, enjoying breakfast around the bright yellow tables. They're participants in the Tour D'Onut, a bike mosey stopping at St. Louis' independent doughnut shops, and though they've just eaten a bunch of fried food, they're gearing up to bike six miles to the next location -- where they'll eat more fried food. One has already inhaled three doughnuts. "Just so you know, we all predict barfing!" the riders, hopped up on sugar, joke with each other.

The Tour D'Onut started with a group of friends who share a mutual love of biking and doughnuts, says organizer Will Fischer. But unlike a lot of people, these fanatics don't mind combining the two on a hot July morning. Once the idea was born, a plan was hatched: Gather like-minded bike-and-doughnut enthusiasts, and take a two-wheeled tour of doughnut shops. The group plotted a route around five doughnut shops: The starting point, John Donut (1618 South Broadway, Soulard; 314-241-3360), St. Louis Hills Donut Shop (6917 Hampton Avenue, St. Louis Hills; 314-481-6050), Donut Drive-In (6525 Chippewa Street, St. Louis Hills; 314-645-7714), O'Fashion Donuts (5120 Southwest Avenue, Tower Grove; 314-772-0398) and World's Fair Donuts (1940 South Vandeventer Avenue, Tower Grove; 314-776-9975). Promoting bicycling as a means of transportation and exercise turned out to be a happy accident, but the emphasis on eating doughnuts -- lots of 'em -- from independent St. Louis shops was king.

A little-known fact: Although not fond of yaking, Gut Check International HQ loves nothing more than eating a handful of doughnuts after a rigorous bike ride in near-90 degree weather. If these doughnut enthusiasts claim to know the best spots in town for sugary breakfast treats, we're going along for the ride to see for ourself. Heat advisory? What heat advisory? We pulled out our fat pants and caught up with the Tour D'Onut riders to taste doughnuts from each spot. Using the Tour D'Onut route and Gut Check's tasting notes, you can go on your own doughnut adventure, by bike or by car. The best part? Gut Check only had to fork over $5 for the food. The downside? You might feel like curling up in a ball and praying diabetes doesn't set in after this sweet tour.

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Ian Froeb

A new snow-cone stand at the old Cup of Sno location.

​The saga of Maplewood snow-cone stand Cup of Sno might finally have a happy ending. Last year, an errant Cadillac struck and demolished Cup of Sno, which called the parking lot of the Family Video on South Big Bend Boulevard home. A replacement stand appeared a few weeks later but never opened, though Cup of Sno did sell snow cones at a concession stand at nearby Deer Creek Park.

Now, there is a snazzy new snow-cone stand at Cup of Sno's original location (pictured above). The stand hasn't been open either day that I've driven past it, so I can't yet confirm that this has the same owners. Regardless, someone's new snow-cone stand is open or about to open, and Dr. Freeze is about to lose his mind.

Ian Froeb

"Root Beer Float" frozen yogurt at Chill

​The RFT likes Chill (7610 Wydown Road, Clayton; 314-932-5010). Honest we do. We named it "Best Frozen Yogurt" last year, and we take our Best of St. Louis issue almost as seriously as we do our unsolicited parenting advice.

But, man oh man, the "Root Beer Float" flavor currently on tap (on nozzle?) there is, without an iota of doubt, one of the worst of desserts I've ever tried. And I say this as someone who actually likes the fake flavor you find in those barrels and other "root beer" candies.

Maybe it has something to do with the tartness of the yogurt, but the flavor of this "root beer float" has a bitter, medicinal quality that nothing from the toppings bar could have salvaged. Avoid!

Image via

Royal bride and groom shortbread

​Gut Check happily celebrates National Pretzel Day, National Doughnut Day and 50%-Off-Cadbury-Crème-Egg Day, also known as Easter Monday (okay, we sort of made that one up). Naturally, we're beyond ecstatic about the royal wedding. Pageantry, crown jewels, hats that look more like spun-sugar confections than headgear. What's not to love?

Apparently, we're not alone. Jane Muscroft of Queen's Cuisine (Suite 412 F, 800 North Tucker Blvd, 618-205-6188) has seen a spike in business before the big day and has been packing shipments to New York, Wyoming, New Jersey, and North Carolina. The most popular item, "Breakfast for a Group of Friends," includes a tin of tea, sixteen scones and bride and groom shortbread cookies.

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Kholood Eid

Earth Day calls for ... a supersweet snack made with packaged, processed ingredients!

​
Earth Day is upon us -- meaning it's time to celebrate (and/or mourn) the earth's glory (and/or imminent destruction). While there may be plenty of Earth Day-related activities scheduled for the Lou this week, on this oh-so-gloomy day, we at Gut Check chose to go the dessert route. More specifically, making an old childhood favorite, appropriately titled "Dirt."

More appetizing than it looks, dirt is essentially pudding, crushed oreos and buried gummy worms, with a few other ingredients thrown in for good measure. But while this was a huge success when the grown-ups served it to us back in first grade, making the treat proved trickier than simply shrieking with joy while devouring it.

For the record, this wound may have been self-inflicted. While there are plenty of instructions found online, we chose to improvise when it came to certain ingredients. Oops.

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