21 Best Halloween Candies Of All Time

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Gut Check isn't so old that we don't remember the hierarchy of Halloween candy: i.e., good stuff and crap. While neighbors who neglect to buy the best sweets suffer at the hands of t.p.-ing teenagers, Gut Check's house remains unscathed.

Stay on the good side of neighborhood ne'er do wells by doling out any combination of these twenty-one Halloween candies, which are pretty much the only reason kids look forward to trick-or-treating. Yeah, we're pretty certain no kid ever anticipated Halloween night because they couldn't wait for a sack full of candy corn, peanut butter kisses or raisins. But that's just our opinion.

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21 Worst Halloween Candies Of All Time

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Gut Check isn't so old that we don't remember the hierarchy of Halloween candy: i.e., good stuff and crap. While neighbors who neglect to buy the best sweets suffer at the hands of t.p.-ing teenagers, Gut Check's house remains unscathed.

Stay on the good side of neighborhood ne'er do wells by avoiding these twenty-one Halloween candies, which are the worst of the worst to torture trick-or-treaters with -- especially in St. Louis, where our tell-a-joke-for-candy tradition raises the bar that much higher.

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 1

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RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 1: Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins

We're all about balance, but the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin throws that out the window. While the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is balanced mass-produced candy perfection - just enough milk chocolate, just enough of that gritty peanut butter that doesn't exist anywhere else - the pumpkins' perfection is in its bombastic peanut butter blast.

Come on! The gritty peanut butter goes all the way to the edge of the chocolate coating! There's no superfluous ring of ridged chocolate! It's big and over-the-top, a little off-kilter, and everything that makes Halloween candy awesome.

Unless you're allergic to peanuts. If that's the case, Halloween's pretty much mean to the point of tortuous, anyway.

Click through to reveal No. 1 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...


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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 2

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It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 2: Bit-O-Honey

If we had our way, these would be renamed Bit-O-HORRIBLES to more accurately describe the taste and texture, as well as to warn eaters of the awful journey their mouth is about to embark on. Oh, and it's a journey all right. Before you pop one of those abhorrent pieces of taffy on to your tongue, you're jaw better be ready for the 20-minute chew-a-thon that will undoubtedly follow. Let's hope you haven't had any dental work done in the last ten years, because this candy's adhesive-like grip is bound to rip it out. Also, let's not forget that it takes a single day for these Bit-O-Yucks to become stale; I'm pretty sure these are the rocks Charlie Brown is talking about.

Click through to reveal No. 2 on the Best Halloween Candy list...

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 3

caramel apple pops.jpg
RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 3: Caramel Apple Pops
Walking into the grocery store around late September and seeing caramel apples is one of the best feelings ever. It's a sure-fire sign that summer is over, and it's time for sweater weather and pumpkin-flavored stuff. Fortunately, that awesome feeling has been formed into another awesome thing: caramel apple pops. Few things can compare to the marriage of sweet, soft caramel and tart, bright green apple candy. Caramel apple pops are a cleaner, more convenient way to enjoy one of the best treats autumn has to offer.

Click through to reveal No. 3 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...


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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 4

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RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 4: Lemonheads

Just knowing Lemonheads are conceived on the same factory equipment as Boston Baked Beans and Atomic Fireballs makes our taste buds cower in fear. Then there's that whole "lemon" thing. Of all the many wonderful fruits in existence, the makers of Lemonheads chose the one we associate most often with wood cleaner and seafood garnishment. Also, what's with that creepy football-shaped dude with a combover and bow tie on the packaging? It feels as though his grin gets wider and his eyes bigger with every chew as he watches our faces pucker in sour anguish.

Click through to reveal No. 4 on the Best Halloween Candy list...

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 5

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RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 5: Peeps

Remember those small, chicken-shaped marshmallow candies that always sat on the Easter table, but never quite made it out of the wrapper? Gut Check knows them all too well. It turns out, Peeps decided to branch out its holiday appeal, and it now offers more than the standard yellow chick. Trick-or-Treaters are bombarded by orange, "chocolate dipped" chickens, "chocolate mousse-flavored" cats, and, worst of all- "sugar free" pumpkins. We ask you, Peeps: What is Halloween without sugar?! The only thing more frightening than the prospect of receiving sugar-free candy is biting into a chocolate-dipped chicken. Perhaps Peeps was attempting to play the "spooky" card, but this candy scares the fun out of Halloween.

Click through to reveal No. 5 on the Best Halloween Candy list...

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 6

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RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 7: Skittles

Taste the rainbow, indeed! Skittles are for sour, fruity fans what M&Ms are to chocolate fiends.

Crispy shells, chewy innards, and a blast of the best fake fruit flavors available on the candy market. And not just with all the new Skittles blends that have been introduced in recent years - Blenders (two Skittles flavors in one Skittle!), Fizzl'd Fruits (Skittles covered in Pop Rocks dust!) and Sour. Even the ordinary red bag of Skittles has something for everyone. Gut Check's a fan of orange Skittles, because they they taste like baby aspirin. Don't like baby aspirin? No problem! Just move a step across the rainbow. There's a flavor for everyone!

Did you know purple Skittles are grape in the U.S., and black currant-flavored in the U.K.? Such versatility and worldliness.

If that's not enough, there's Skittles vodka.

Click through to reveal No. 6 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 7

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RFT Photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 7: Swedish Fish

If there is anything more unpleasant to present the taste buds with than an overly gummy glob manufactured in the shape of an infamously oily fish? And whose hilarious idea was it to make these bite-sized herrings red? Were they attempting to divert unsuspecting eaters away from the important fact that they taste similar to most household cleaners? If you eat more than a handful, the mineral oil in the candy will have your gastrointestinal track waging war on your body. For your tongue and colon's sake, avoid at all costs.

Click through to reveal No. 7 on the Best Halloween Candy list...

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Best and Worst Halloween Candy Countdown: No. 8

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RFT photo
It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.

Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.

Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.

Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...

Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 8: Milky Way

Yes, we realize that a Milky Way candy bar isn't exactly a Halloween candy (we can snack on one at any time), but fun-sized versions are a treat to find on Halloween night. This candy bar, made up of the perfect ratio of chocolate nougat topped with caramel and wrapped in milk chocolate, is always soft and fresh. With so much chocolate flavor, eating a Milky Way bar feels a bit sinful -- in a good way. In other countries, a Milky Way bar isn't topped with caramel, and removing the caramel turns a Milky Way into a boring Three Musketeers bar. So let's be thankful we're Americans and can enjoy a Milky Way with caramel while dressed like a fool on Halloween.


Click through to reveal No. 8 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...

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