Ian Froeb

Happy 4/20, dudes.

Oh, hello there. What's that? Why do you need a survival guide for April 20, an otherwise unremarkable day on the calendar? Move along. This post is not the droids you're looking for.

If, on the other hand, your glassy eyes keep glancing at that picture of nachos and Visine, then page through for Gut Check's resources to help you deal with the, uh, consequences of your celebration.

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Jennifer Silverberg

The Club Med at Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium, otherwise known as "gimme dat."

Have you ever thought about how weird fingernails are? Is it possible that an entire other world exists beneath our fingernails and every time we trim them we snuff out countless fingernail-people lives? Are we the Adolf Hitler of our nail beds? These and other questions are the things that April 20 is made of if you're celebrating it correctly.

In years past Gut Check has recharged on 4/20 with nachos or home-made trail mix -- throw various foodstuffs in a Pringles can, give it a good shake and viola, home-made trail mix. This year, however, we're in the mood for takeout, because what's easier than having food delivered to your face? The answer is home-made trail mix, but we polished that off hours ago.

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Frito Lay

Arch West, inventor of Doritos, passed away last week.

As Ian reported yesterday, Arch West, the 97-year-old Texan who blessed the world with Doritos in 1966, passed away last week. His family plans to sprinkle Doritos into his final resting place.

While we wish no disrespect to West or his mourning family, we hope they won't be burying these beloved, discontinued Doritos flavors with him. If ever there was a time when Americans needs to stress-eat their long-gone nostalgic favorites, it's now.

Just look what happens in a world without Doritos. (Especially weirdly flavored ones.) it's not good!

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Maggie Moo's

Free waffle sundaes at Maggie Moo's!

Because CofFree Day at 7-Eleven isn't exciting enough, today's free mini waffle sundae day at Maggie Moo's (15801 Manchester Road, Ellisville; 699 F Gravois Bluffs Boulevard, Fenton; 8853 Ladue Road, Suite Q, Ladue)! They're giving away the sundaes to the first 200 customers from 3 to 6 p.m.

It's a good thing they've got that sultry costumed cow as their mascot. That'll keep them out of a predicament like the one a Florida ice-cream shop is in.

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Old Vienna

The real taste of St. Louis - Old Vienna Pork Steak Potato Chips

Could anything be more St. Louis than Old Vienna Pork Steak Flavored Potato Chips?

Well, Provel flavored chips come to mind, but those don't exist. Yet. Old Vienna's come through with the pork steak flavored ones.

Of course we tried them, so you don't have to.

The chip's a typical Old Vienna, which is a good thing. Thin, ridged, and crispy. Since the bag advertised that the pork steak flavored chips contained St. Louis-style barbecue sauce, we expected a thick coating of artificially red dust. Instead, the chips are a bit pale with only a smattering of red seasoning. The sauce flavor isn't predominant. Otherwise they'd just be barbecue potato chips. Good for Old Vienna for not doing that old trick.

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Robin Wheeler

Abe's Popcorn at the Lincoln Theatre opens later this month. Honest.

Belleville's long been a destination for area movie fans, thanks to a pair of unique theaters - the only drive-in in the St. Louis Metro area, and the Lincoln Theatre, a restored Depression-era movie house filled with Art Deco charm right down to the pre-movie pipe organ shows.

The Lincoln Theatre's upping the cinematic ante once again by adding Abe's Gourmet Popcorn to the theater. Gut Check spoke with Lincoln Theater owner Dave Schoenborn about the new venture.

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Because you know you need both of these things right now: