St. Louis Cardinals fans might still be coming to terms with Albert Pujols' departure for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The marketplace, however, has already responded. Seen today at Schnucks:

​I'd like to think that this sign, spotted recently on the front door of a business in the Delmar Loop, is a clever commentary on the questionable nature of frozen yogurt, but I suspect the owner of this business is simply exhausted by the number of frozen-yogurt joints that have opened in St. Louis over the past few years and is trying to drive home the point.

Holly Fann

There was plenty of Schlafly on ice at Taste of Maplewood

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The Rapture didn't happen, and it's a good thing. When the festivities and food officially started on Saturday at noon, Taste of Maplewood was already bustling. White tents lined both sides of Sutton Boulevard; a few were manned by vendors offering services (Edward Jones, for instance, and Hatch), but food was the focus -- that, and an array of beer and boozy drinks.

Holly Fann

Maya Cafe brought the beef -- brisket and empanadas.

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Bad enough that gas costs $4 a gallon. Now, the gas pumps are getting all pushy-like, demanding that we feed them.

Ian Froeb

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"Feed the cat? Or obliterate the pain of my daily existence? Feed the cat? Or obliterate the pain of my daily existence?"

Ian Froeb

image via

What proud American could fail to be excited about getting up at 4 a.m. to watch the British royal wedding?

​Gut Check would like to propose that a true, red-blooded American like yourself would feel a lot less silly watching the Royal Wedding tomorrow morning if you weren't sitting alone on the couch in your pajamas.

Sure, it all goes down at the ass- arse-crack of dawn here, thanks to the time difference, but is that any excuse to not get yourself all spiffed up -- maybe even with a fancy hat, like the good British aristocrat you undoubtedly were in a previous life -- and, more important, enjoy the festivities without a nice cuppa or a proper scone with clotted cream?

We think not!

Jackie James, British expat and manager of the London Tea Room (1520 Washington Avenue; 314-241-6556), happens to agree with us. That's why she'll be flinging open the tea room's doors at 4 a.m. tomorrow, in time for her guests to get caffeinated and settled in front of the big screen that'll be set up in English Living, the furniture store next door, by the time the wedding starts at 5.

"It's open to everybody," says James. "Anyone who wants to get up that early is a crazy person."

She will, of course, be there.

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Imagine taking down more than four pounds of these babies -- in six minutes.

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We've heard about all-you-can-eat hot-dog competitions. And all-you-can-eat pie contests. We were even aware, in some deep recess of our brain, that there's an International Federation of Competitive Eating to regulate some of the more, umm, prestigious competitive eating events.

But we'd never heard of a tater tot eating contest -- until we learned about the one at Bar Louie next week. Silly us! Turns out, this is the fourth year of hosting "Rock the Tot" for the Chicago-based chain, which has locations in both the Central West End and Kirkwood. The winner at each location gets a $250 gift card for Bar Louie, plus free tots for a year; the national winner gets a $500 gift card, plus a year's worth of free tots.

And for all you city dwellers, there's a big opportunity lurking at the Central West End location this year: "Carl" is retiring.
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The setup at one of the stations at the South Central Regional Barista Competition.

​Several former baristas work here at Gut Check International Headquarters, and sometimes when we're really, really bored, we gather in someone's cubicle and compare war stories. Oddly enough, none of these stories has anything to do with the transcendent joy of pulling the perfect shot of espresso.

For one thing, most of us worked at Starbucks after the chain switched to the idiot-proof push-button espresso machines, which require no operating skill whatsoever. For another, it's much more fun to share stories of our most insane customers and compare the number of times the police had to stop by. When we wore the green apron, way more of our time was spent cleaning and dealing with crazy people than actually, y'know, practicing our craft.

The baristas who showed up at the South Central Regional Barista Competition at the Chase Park Plaza this weekend are in an entirely different league. These baristas grind and tamp their coffee grounds themselves. They have definite opinions about single-origin coffees and blends. They use phrases like "chocolatey finish" and "citrusy top notes" without irony. They know how to put pretty shapes into the foam of their cappuccinos. They eschew the coffee-stained apron in favor of dressing like nineteenth-century barkeeps. (Suspenders vs. vests is a major point of contention among serious baristas.) And, as befits those who have risen far enough in their field that they have reached the regional level of the United States Barista Championship, they don't have to clean up after themselves.

For Gut Check, it was a brave new world.

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The 1990s saw the swift rise of Starbucks and its ilk, swamping the world with higher-end coffee and increasingly un-coffee-like coffee drinks.

The 2000s saw the inexplicable rise of cupcakes from grade-school birthday treat to "in" dessert.

Now, spotted yesterday the Shell station and Circle K mini-mart at the intersection of Delmar and Skinker, is evidence that the two annoying trends have joined forces for purposes that are unknown but almost certainly evil:

Ian Froeb

​Bonus trend-humping points for being a red velvet cupcake.

Ian Froeb

​Spotted recently on the table -- on every table, in fact -- of Shu Feng (8435 Olive Boulevard, University City; 314-983-0099). Don't think I've seen this before. Anyone else?