It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.
Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.
Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.
Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...
Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 21: Nerds
Earlier this year RFT visited the annual Sweets & Snacks Expo in Chicago and discovered that -- surprise! -- candy manufacturers are increasingly marketing their treats as "healthy." To paraphrase the story's author, RFT staff writer Aimee Levitt:
What ever happened to good-old-fashioned, tooth-rotting candy?
Well, some of it's still around. Like Nerds -- who among us would be disappointed to find a box or three of Nerds in our trick-or-treat pillowcase? There's no quibbling with tiny nuggets of crunchy, slightly tartened-up sugar that are, in turn, glazed with more sugar. In some respects, if you look beyond the variety of colors/pseudo flavors available, a Nerd in kinda resembles the very thing it destroys: the tooth. Talk about form following function!
Nerds aren't perfect -- they are, for one thing, far from ideal movie-theater fare, owing to their loud crunch and high spillage potential -- but doled out in single-mouthful boxes, they're a solid, down-the-middle trick-or-treat pick. They may not be anyone's true favorite, but they sure aren't gonna piss off the marauding hordes.
Click through to reveal No. 21 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...
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