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Gut Check was just talking to ourselves the other day: "Self," we said, "it's been a while since we reported on any foods being recalled because of plastic contamination."

So we ambled on over (virtually speaking) to the FDA's recall, withdrawal and safety alert website and, lo and behold!, there's plastic in the frozen pizzas!

Nestlé USA has announced a voluntary recall of four specific frozen pizzas for possible contamination by what the press release describes as "fragments of clear plastic."

See Also:
- Fazio's Meatballs Recalled for Listeria Risk

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Mama mia!

That's a spicy meat-a-ball! And do I detect a hint of listeria?

St. Louis-based P.E. & F. Inc. has recalled approximately 123 pounds of frozen, ready-to-eat meatballs due to possible contamination with Listeria monocytogenes. The U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) announced the recall on Thursday, but according to Nick Lamia, a representative for P.E. & F., the meatballs have been off of grocery store freezer shelves since Tuesday.

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Well, hello there, When Food Attacks. We haven't visited with you in a while. But we return to your clammy, off-smelling embrace with a doozy of a recall:

Manda Packing Company of Baker, Louisiana, has recalled 468,000 pounds of its meat products over the risk of listeria contamination. And before you smugly point out that you Baker, Louisiana is nowhere near St. Louis, we note that both Missouri and Illinois are among the states to which Manda distributed its products.

The recall (dated April 12) involves multiple products under multiple brand names. The official USDA announcement of the Manda recall has the complete list of brands.

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I ask so very little of the universe. Two things, really. Don't serve me desiccated calamari. And don't screw with my bourbon. This week already shattered one of my illusions. And then, for a moment this morning -- before the coffee kicked in -- I thought it had taken out the other as well.

The Buffalo Trace Distillery has issued a voluntary recall of...[exhales] several flavored sauces sold at its gift shop, at retail locations in numerous states (including Missouri and Illinois) and online.

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Anyone besides Gut Check been keeping a finger on the pulse of the European horsemeat scandal? Here's a pop quiz so you can prove it:

Which of the following companies doesn't belong with the others?

A. Aldi
B. Burger King
C. IKEA
D. Walmart
E. McDonald's
F. Taco Bell
G. Birds Eye

(Answer at end of this post. Oh, OK, here, lazybones.)

Gut Check has never eaten horsemeat -- that we're aware of. You?

We consider ourself moderately well informed about the deal, but our curiosity was piqued, all the same, by a press release that landed in our inbox from a company called Neogen, headlined simply, "Neogen responding to horse meat in beef concerns."

Neogen, it turns out, is a publicly held company based in Lansing, Michigan, that manufactures the F.A.S.T., or Food Analyte Screening Test, which can detect the presence of a different species in the flesh of uncooked meats or meat products.

According to the press release, F.A.S.T.s "are immunostick assays that can provide clear visual results in about 30 minutes" and are available in versions that can detect cow, horse, sheep, pig and poultry.

With U.S.D.A. approval of equine abattoirs on the horizon and visions of unmasking stateside impostors dishing out horsemeat bolognese dancing in our head, Gut Check had our secretary get Lansing on the horn. We were quickly passed along to Neogen's vice president of food safety, Ed Bradley, who took the time to respond to a list of e-mailed questions -- and instantly lay waste to our food-vigilante-superhero dreams.

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No, Buster. The problem with Bumble Bee canned tuna is not Lucille, Nos. 1 or 2.

Bumble Bee today announced a voluntary recall of certain five-ounce cans of its Chunk White Albacore and its Chunk Light Tuna because the cans' seals might be loose.

Update: (Thursday, March 7, 12:00 p.m.) Tri-Union Seafoods has issued a voluntary recall of certain five-ounce cans of its Chicken of the Sea-brand canned chunk white albacore tuna because the lid seams do not meet the company's quality standards. View the list of recalled products on the FDA website.

See Also:
- Top 7 Arrested Development Foods That Should Be Real

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Sadly, this week we made it only till Tuesday morning before coming across news of another food recalled because of foreign material.

Schmalz's European Provisions has recalled its Applegates Organics Chicken and Apple Sausage because of the possible presence of small pieces of plastic.

See Also:
- King Arthur Has Blue Balls (Flour Recalled)
- Metal Mesh in the Biscuits, Plastic in the Sausage

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Let the record show that we made it till Wednesday of this week before receiving word of yet another recall occasioned by the possible presence of foreign objects in your food.

King Arthur Flour has issued a voluntary recall of certain bags of its flour because of the risk that the bags might contain -- and we're just going to quote from the press release here because we wouldn't even know how to paraphrase this properly -- "the possible presence of small (7-9 mm) blue polyurethane balls that are used in the sifting process".

The balls "have a smooth surface and no sharp edges," as ball are wont to do.

See Also:
- Metal Mesh in the Biscuits, Plastic in the Sausage
- Kellogg's Recalls Special K for Possible Glass Fragments

More »

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What's that, you say? Not one, but two new recalls involving foreign objects in food?

Gut Check is shocked -- shocked! -- that there's gambling in this establishment,

First up we have Mondelez Global LLC issuing a voluntary recall of the apple-cinnamon and chocolate varieties of its belVita Breakfast Biscuits because of the possible presence of fragments of a flexible metal mesh.

See Also:
- Kellogg's Recalls Special K for Possible Glass Fragments
- Sara Lee, Aldi, Other Breads Recalled for Possible Presence of Wire

More »

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OK, seriously, this would be laughable if it didn't involve, you know, things like glass and wire in what we eat. Yes, yet another food is being recalled due to the possible presence of foreign objects.

Kellogg's has announced a voluntary recall of its Special K Red Berries cereal due to the risk that it might contain glass fragments.

See Also:
- Sara Lee, Aldi, Other Breads Recalled for Possible Presence of Wire
- Small Glass Fragments in Lean Cuisine Ravioli, Plastic in Fast Classics Country-Fried Steaks
- More Metal in Your Food: Chicken-Fried Chicken Breasts Recalled

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