Sammy Hagar's 60th Birthday Party Was Way Better than Any of Your Birthday Parties. Ever.

Sometimes, the press releases I receive are just too great not to share with other people. Like the one I received about Sammy Hagar's birthday bash that took place at (where else?) his Cabo Wabo Cantina in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

According to the email from his publicity firm, Rogers and Cowan, "close friends" such as Toby Keith, Ted Nugent, Criss Angel, Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and -- most hilariously, since he's a fellow VH refugee -- bassist Michael Anthony attended. Another email noted, "In addition, those friends who could not be in attendance, including Tom Arnold, Kenny
Chesney, Alice Cooper, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jay Leno, Slash, Matt Sorum, David Hasselhoff and others, sent Hagar video birthday wishes that were viewed by the crowd in attendance."

(Incidentally, the photo seen here was attached to one of these emails; from left to right, Criss Angel, Michael Anthony, Toby Keith, Sammy Hagar, Chad Smith, Ted Nugent.)

But even better were the stats thrown out, breaking down the numbers for the nine-day party. Yes, nine days; it began October 4 and ended last Saturday with a gigantic bash. To wit, the crunched totals:

10,138: "Redheads" sleeping on sidewalks to get into the annual birthday bash

40,738: Shots of tequila served

26,817: Bottles of beer served

22,411: Tacos served

38,621: Jalapeno peppers served

My liver hurts.

Hagar, of course, returns to the Fox on November 13 and 14, like a prodigal son returning to reclaim glory.

-- Annie Zaleski