The Mars Volta: Thursday, April 17 at the Pageant

• hate! hate! hate! all of u guys have been nominated for the players haterz ball

• SAY WHA...? Oh well, chalk it up to not paying attention. I've had all day to imagine a Mars Volta lapdance and... it's pretty horrifying... the stripper puts your hand in a bowl of wet macaroni and whispers in your ear that she's going to masticate on your parabola. then the dance actually starts. an hour later, there's a horn solo.

• hey JRo, Jim Ward of Sparta was in town on Sunday night at 2 Cents Plain, playing acoustically. i have a feeling a mars volta lapdance would go on forever and not really have any sort of build-up or denouement. not that i've ever had a lapdance or been to a stripclub.

• When I tell people I like The Mars Volta, I have to preface it with "but only the first album"... the rest is way too much "art for art's sake"... I know they're "daring" and "original", but I sometimes can't understand why, instead of making sharp, brutal tracks like the old days, they make these massive masturbatory freak-outs... Needless to say, $35 to hear them futz around won't be happening with me, but if Sparta comes to town... And personally, I'm horrified at the idea of a Mars Volta lapdance, since I'm not quite sure what it would entail.

• Heh. If I wanted to see a cut-n-paste mix up of Pink Floyd's "The Nile Song" injected with helium, I'd...no, wait. Why would I wanna see that? Reminds me of the old joke from Chunklet fanzine: Q:What do At The Drive-In & the MC5 have in common? A:Absolutely nothing. It should be noted that I don't actually hate Mars Volta. But man, it is fun fun fun to rile up their fans.

• the idea of a Mars Volta lapdance just made me crack up. real bad.

• $35 for The Mars Volta!?!?! LOL C'mon, be serious. Does it come with a lap dance?

TotalComments: 7