What if Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson's Tour was An Episode of Reba?

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ

Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson are playing a sold-out show at the Family Arena tonight. Aww. To ease your pain, Kristyn Pomranz had a wacky thought: What if the tour played out like an episode of the sitcom, Reba? Hilarity, of course, ensues.

INT. REBA’S LIVING ROOM

VAN is playing guitar poorly.

LAUGH TRACK

CHEYENNE enters through front door.

CHEYENNE
Where’d you get that guitar?

VAN
I just found it in the trash!

CHEYENNE
You found a guitar in the trash?

VAN
The trash, your mom’s bed, what’s the difference?

LAUGH TRACK

REBA enters from kitchen.

REBA
Van, what are you doin’ with my guitar?

VAN
I’m learnin’ a lullaby to play for Elizabeth.

REBA
I didn’t know babies liked St. Anger.

LAUGH TRACK.

REBA snatches guitar away from VAN.

REBA
Gimme that!

(Click after the jump to continue....)

VAN
What’s your guitar doing out anyway?

REBA
I’m going on the "2 Worlds 2 Voices" tour with Kelly Clarkson.

VAN
Kelly Clarkson?! I love the Today Show!

LAUGH TRACK

REBA
What? No, she won American Idol.

VAN
That 800-pound black guy?

LAUGH TRACK

CHEYENNE
No babe. She won the first season. You liked her ass.

VAN
Ohh, I remember her now. Nice, Mrs. H.!

BARBRA JEAN enters through front door.

BARBRA JEAN
Hey guys!

LAUGH TRACK

BARBRA JEAN
Whatcha doin’? Oooh, a guitar! I just love to be musical!

BARBRA JEAN grabs guitar and starts tunelessly strumming while singing Chaka Khan’s “I Feel For You.”

LAUGH TRACK

VAN
Reba’s goin’ on tour with Kelly Clarkson.

BARBRA JEAN
What?!

LAUGH TRACK

BARBRA JEAN (CONT.)
I wanna gooooo!

REBA
Barbra Jean, you can’t go. It’s only for professional musicians.

BARBRA JEAN
Did you not just hear my Chaka Khan?

BARBRA JEAN starts singing again.

LAUGH TRACK

VAN
C’mon, Mrs. H., let Barbra Jean go on tour with you!

REBA
Not just anybody can star in a fifteen-city arena tour.

VAN
But her Chaka Khan is impeccable!

REBA
This isn’t a joke, Van, it’s a serious musical endeavor.

CHEYENNE
Maybe you should let her be the opener. Y’know, she could warm up the crowd.

REBA
I don’t think so—

BARBRA JEAN
(cutting her off) I can be funny! Listen to this: Knock knock!

VAN
Who’s there?

BARBRA JEAN
Boo.

VAN
Boo who?

BARBRA JEAN
Aw, don’t cry, it’s just a joke!

BARBRA JEAN, VAN, and CHEYENNE crack up. REBA is stone-faced.

BARBRA JEAN
C’mon, Reba! I’ll slay ‘em!

KELLY CLARKSON enters through front door. Audience goes wild.

KELLY CLARKSON
Hey, Reba! Ready to go on tour?

REBA
Yes ma’am! Let’s –

BARBRA JEAN
Kelly Clarkson! Kelly Clarkson! Can I be the opening comedian?

REBA
Barbra –

BARBRA JEAN
Knock knock!

KELLY CLARKSON
Who’s there?

BARBRA JEAN
Norma Lee.

KELLY CLARKSON
Norma Lee who?

BARBRA JEAN
Norma Lee I’m not so pushy, but please lemme tour with you!

KELLY CLARKSON cracks up.

KELLY CLARKSON
Oh man that’s good stuff. You should totally be our opener.

REBA facepalms.

The 2 Worlds 2 Voices tour, starring Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson, featuring opener Barbra Jean, I mean, Melissa Peterman, is Thursday, February 7 at 7:30 at St. Charles’ Family Arena.

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest

Now Trending

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Clubs

St. Louis Event Tickets
Loading...