St. Louis Concert Announcements: Week Of September 1

• Of course, kiddo! In like a year or something.

• i can haz my james back, plz? kthxbye.

• yes.

• can i have a question?

• Everyone does, really. They just have hang-ups and refuse to admit their true desires to themselves. Y'know, despite all their rage they are still just rats in cages. Ooof! I just got Corgan'd! GRODY.

• i'm teh famous! thanks, james! i always wanted to ride into the sunset and dream of Project Twinkle with an alien bounty hunter!

• DAMMIT. They're. NOT their. Freakin' amateur hour up in this piece.

• Ok. Breakin' it down: Hat-dude wings his hat Oddjobs-from-James-Bond-stylee @ annoying gal, who promptly loses her head. This upsets balance of Monsieur Tattoo, who tumbles forward. Pickelhaube (does he play the piccolo?) tries to catch Monsieur Tattoo cause, y'know, their bro's, but inadvertently gores him in his spine. Turns out that Monsieur Tattoo is actually an ALIEN BOUNTY HUNTER a la X-Files, who spews green acid gore forth from narrowly missed nape of neck which would have done him in for good. Too bad the gas from the green gore instantly burns off the face of Pickelhaube, who is now just right out of the whole deal. That is, dead. Hat-dude thinks he's got it, he wins, he's the king of the ACTION DESIGN. He stops. He thinks, "Man our name is so much better than Fast Fashion or some shizz, yo!" Monsieur Tattoo, being ALIEN BOUNTY HUNTER BRO pops back up on the scene, is all, "Yo! I isn't dead! You is dead!" He strangles him. Hat-dude dies. Monsieur Tattoo is picked up by the always punctual and perpetually perfect sartorialist (and satirist?), Jaime Sleaze. Off they ride into the sunset to dream of Project Muh'freakin' Twinkle. Teh Endings.

• Action Design are awesome, I got to open for them last year. Terrific band and super nice people.

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