Mr. Ghetto's "Wal-Mart" Is The Official Party Jam Of Nihilist Defamiliarization

Categories: Fiesta!

Mr. Ghetto's Walmart Spectacular
Mr. Ghetto's hype man deconstructs social norms in the parking lot of a Super Wal-Mart
There was a time in my life, I think--back when the end of the world was a week from now, and not tomorrow--when I found dancing ladies pleasant, maybe even erotic. I remember it now as one might remember a childhood dream, one that's grown hazy at the edges with repeated handling. Something about what they were doing communicated something to me on a visceral, unconscious level. Then I saw Samuel Beckett's newest music video, "Wal-Mart."

Don't watch this at work, or in a universe where you're comfortable with the societal and cultural assumptions you've made about your own sexuality and the sexuality of others. This video is distinctly N-S-F-people with a tenuous grip on their connection to other minds. You know that phenomenon where if you say the same word enough times in a row--like, "ass," for instance--it begins to lose its meaning as anything other than a collection of sounds?

In resisting the urge to rhyme two consecutive lines, except on accident, Mr. Ghetto--actually a Ph.D, I'm told, whose dissertation was titled The Disjarring Aesthetics of the Familiar in D4L's "Laffy Taffy", forces us to reconsider the conclusions we draw while listening to more conventional summer party jams. He also makes it very difficult to listen to the song in a non-party-jam capacity, frustrating reinterpretation at the same time he denies the possibility of an overarching interpretation.

But his masterstroke is the jackhammering, unnerving, astonishingly unsexy consistency with which the identically costumed women--who, he insists in consecutive verses, are otherwise clean, socially integrated members of society--shake their postmodernity-makers. Their fascist regularity makes Mr. Ghetto's point clear: the sexualization of booty dancing is not organic but a normative social construct, one he is determined to subvert. About two minutes in I was concerned primarily with how uncomfortable the position they assume must be, and why one of them is going to Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-World's parking lot with no shoes on.

In a prepared statement, Sir Mix-A-Lot suggested that he was no longer interested in whether or not baby had back, because was it even possible to know what back was, or whether back exists in the minds of others? Mystikal told the Journal of Postcolonial Theory that the only thing he was interested in shaking fast, any longer, was "the colonial notion of 'Showing me what you're working with', where 'me' and 'you' are anything more substantial than subject positions within a deeply fraught discourse about power."

In a separate press conference Bubba Sparxxx confirmed to reporters that he was "still pretty much into asses" after viewing the video.

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Dvaz58
Dvaz58

Rwmwmber Sodom and Ghomorra!!!!!   Jesus is on His way back..................... and He ain't looking for booty shakers nor does e need anything out of Walmart and if some of His Saints are in there they shall be cougt to met Him and they are already clean and summer's Eve did not do it. "Get caught with Jesus" Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead and thou Shall be saved.

Chris Ward
Chris Ward

I do not believe this was included in the terms of the Louisiana Purchase, I'll have to check Mister Mr. Ghetto's facts. Also, I believe it is time for Wal-Mart's security footage of this to surface and surface soon. Also, I am now siding with Tipper Gore.

Dan Moore
Dan Moore

 My new goal is to somehow get Judith Butler fired before LouFest. I'm glad we had this talk.

Jason Robinson
Jason Robinson

Kiernan is going to booty dance with Judith Butler at LouFest? wow. party of the year. i hope they dance to "Ms New Booty" 

postmodernity-makers
postmodernity-makers

This is bounce. It has its own history, and context. Maybe instead of dumping out vaguely understood and vaguely explained concepts from that "totally mind-blowing" theory class you audited in college, you say something that's interesting or at least actually funny. 

anon
anon

because instead of saying anything positive or worthwhile it's clear that the author just put this up because he wanted to say "LOL BLACK PEOPLE"

f*** this article 

Kiernan Maletsky
Kiernan Maletsky

explain to us the noble history and context of ass-shaking in a Wal Mart parking lot. 

postmodernity-makers
postmodernity-makers

Didn'tsay that it wasn't funny. It is. But a couple of upper-middle-class white dudes-- and I'd bet your college tuition that you are -- playing with their ding-a-lings, snidely calling this video "noble" or pretentiously attributing aPh.D. to Mr. Ghetto, is just fucking depressing, and predictable. Yeah, he didn't go to class. You did. Congratulations. 

 

Iwould guarantee, however, that I'd have an easier time explaining bounce(ass-shaking does have a context and history, you twit) and thesocial-cultural economics of shooting a bounce video in a Walmart (in a way thatdoesn't extend my head all the way up my colon) than you would unpackingany of these sentences, starting with the fucking headline:

 

"Mr.Ghetto's 'Wal-Mart' Is the Official Party Jam of Nihilist Defamiliarization" [this literally means nothing; you're off to a great start]

"Healso makes it very difficult to listen to the song in a non-party-jam capacity,frustrating reinterpretation at the same time he denies the possibility of anoverarching interpretation." [if I was grading this in an undergrad paper, I would cross it out and tell the student to change majors]

Thisentire fucking paragraph:

"Buthis masterstroke is the jackhammering, unnerving, astonishingly unsexyconsistency with which the identically costumed women--who, he insists inconsecutive verses, are otherwise clean, socially integrated members ofsociety--shake their postmodernity-makers. Their fascist regularity makes Mr.Ghetto's point clear: the sexualization of booty dancing is not organic but a normative socialconstruct, one he is determined to subvert. About two minutes in I wasconcerned primarily with how uncomfortable the position they assume must be,and why one of them is going to Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-Wally-World'sparking lot with no shoes on." [see above, but also a missed opportunity -- if you're going to waste space with this mumbo-jumbo -- to actually talk about bounce culture in a way that's, y'know, understandable]Andthis last confection:

"Mystikaltold the Journal of PostcolonialTheory that the only thing he was interested in shaking fast, anylonger, was "the colonial notion of 'Showing me whatyou're working with', where 'me' and 'you' are anything moresubstantial than subject positions within a deeply fraught discourse aboutpower.'" [haw-haw! Mystikal in the Journal of Postcolonial Theory! Again, see above]So, yeah: please explain your explanations. Maybe next time you keep it brief, attempt to make it funny, and pledge to remove the poorly executed theory bullshit.

Kiernan Maletsky
Kiernan Maletsky

He's joking, obviously, but thanks for the career advice, anonymous internet commenter!

postmodernity-makers
postmodernity-makers

You're right. What the world and this music blog needs more of is a painfully unfunny spoof of academic writing that is nonsensical enough on its own terms to confuse Judith Butler. Make this a weekly feature, please. Kiernan will be fired before LouFest.  

Dan Moore
Dan Moore

 I should have thought it was clear that this post was more about the sorry state of academia than what must, admittedly, be one of the dumbest songs in the history of dumb YouTube songs, but in any case you're going to hate my next blog entry, "Intersections of Ecofeminism and People who Look Like Usher In Rebecca Black's 'Friday'"

Kiernan Maletsky
Kiernan Maletsky

I'd say the goal here was mock-academia in the face of something that is unquestionably mind-numbing, bounce socio-politics or no, but noted.

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