100 St. Louis Bands, 100 Drink Pairings: A Comprehensive Guide

It's like having Tom Crusie at your beck and call at every St. Louis show.

Oh, the interwebz. You give us so many awesome gifts. You even take things that are already awesome, and then you put a kitten on them and make them even awesomer. For that we thank you.

Today we celebrate Drinkify.org. This site is hot stuff this week -- it's being posted all over social media web sites and linked in emails. Drinkify is an online drinking guide that pairs the music you are listening to with a suggested cocktail. It's kind of like having your own personal smart, crunk sommelier.

The design is simple: you type in a band name, click a button that reads "What Should I Drink" and then Drinkify sends you back a photo of the band and and ingredient list with instructions. Drinkify's output is based on a combination of search results, including band biographies, images and top tracks. The drink suggestions are usually cocktails, and many of them are eerily-similar to the fancy-folk drinks that are served up at the Royale.

Because there is so much information available online, the results are sometimes scary-accurate. For example, if a band puts its favorite beer in its bio, that is probably the beer that Drinkify will suggest.

To test out the site and get an accurate sample of the responses supplied by Drinkify, I searched for every band and performer who was nominated for our RFT Music Awards this year plus some classic St. Louis performers and a few personal favorites.

The results ranged from W.T.F. (Pokey LaFarge) to SHOCKINGLY ACCURATE (Sex Robots) to YEAH, PROBABLY (Funky Butt Brass Band) to THAT'S RAW (Murphy Lee).

Of course, there were some glitches; it's not a perfect system. But there were some cool surprises, too. Here's a few findings of my research:

• Drinkify didn't offer a suggested cocktail for every band I tried or it returned the wrong result. Which is a shame, really, because I'd like to buy Magic City a drink. (Ed. seconded.)
• Sometimes Drinkify gave cocktail result but with no band picture included to certify that this drink was, indeed, for this band. I decided that these results probably couldn't be relied upon, until I searched for .e. Drinkify says that when listening to .e, the suggested cocktail is 12 oz. of marijuana, served on the rocks. Yeah, that sounds about right.
• Drinkify is totally postmodern. It is aware of itself and of other memes. For instance, a search for the Jumpstarts resulted with a suggestion of "4 oz. of White whine."

Check out our comprehensive list below. Which drink would you most like to try? If you're an artist, will you be sampling your own drink? And who had a cool result that wasn't included on this list?

"THE BETH BOMBARA"
6 oz. Home brew
Serve neat. Stir quickly. Garnish with sprig of mint.

"THE BIG GEORGE BROCK"
8 oz. Vodka
Serve neat. Stir vigorously.

"THE BLACK SPADE"
6 oz. Rum
Serve on rocks. Stir slowly.

"THE BLIND EYES"
12 oz. Horilka
12 oz. Coke
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE BOREAN DUSK"
8 oz. Woodford Reserve Bourbon
Serve neat. Stir quickly. Garnish with twist of lemon.

"THE BOTTLE ROCKETS"
8 oz. Moonshine
8 oz. V812 oz. Grapefruit juice
Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously. Garnish with maraschino cherry.

"THE BREAKS"
8 oz. Coke
8 oz. Tequila Añejo
8 oz. Coffee
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE BUNNYGRUNT"
12 oz. Vodka
Serve neat. Garnish with twist of grapefruit.

"THE BRADD YOUNG"
6 oz. Ogogoro
Serve on rocks.

"THE BROTHERS LAZAROFF"
4 oz. Fernet
Serve neat. Stir vigorously. Garnish with wedge of pineapple.

"THE BRYANT STEWART"
1 bottle Chilli pepper Vodka
1 bottle Iced tea
4 oz. Jägermeister
Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve. Garnish with salt.

"THE CASSIE MORGAN"
4 oz. Microbrew
Serve neat. Stir slowly. Garnish with cocktail onions.

"THE CHUCK BERRY"
8 oz. Maker's Mark Bourbon
8 oz. Pineapple juice
Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously.

"THE CONFORMISTS"
1 Anchor Steam
Serve cold. Garnish with fresh berries.

"THE CROSS EXAMINATION"
1 Brooklyn Lager
Serve cold.

"THE DAVE BLACK"
1 bottle Merlot
Serve at room temperature.

"THE DENISE THIMES"
1 oz. Hendricks Gin
1 oz. Nordic Mist
1 oz. Nordic Mist
Combine in highball glass and serve. Garnish with wedge of watermelon.

"THE DISAPPEARED"
2 oz. Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey
Serve neat.

"THE DOOM TOWN"
12 oz. Pisco
Serve on rocks. Garnish with national flag.

"THE DUBB NUBB"
2 oz. Havana Club Dark Rum
Serve neat.

"THE EARTHWORMS"
6 oz. Rum
Serve neat. Stir slowly.

"THE FISTER"
4 oz. Canadian Club Whiskey
4 oz. Coco López
8 oz. Fernet
Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

"THE FONTELLA BASS"
10 oz. Gin
Serve neat. Garnish with fire.

"THE FRANKENHOOKERS"
1 oz. Cachaça
1 oz. Lemon sour
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE FRESH HEIR"
1 oz. Blackwoods Gin
Serve on rocks. Stir slowly. Garnish with twist of grapefruit.