100 St. Louis Bands, 100 Drink Pairings: A Comprehensive Guide

Categories: Fiesta!

cocktail.jpeg
It's like having Tom Crusie at your beck and call at every St. Louis show.
Oh, the interwebz. You give us so many awesome gifts. You even take things that are already awesome, and then you put a kitten on them and make them even awesomer. For that we thank you.

Today we celebrate Drinkify.org. This site is hot stuff this week -- it's being posted all over social media web sites and linked in emails. Drinkify is an online drinking guide that pairs the music you are listening to with a suggested cocktail. It's kind of like having your own personal smart, crunk sommelier.

The design is simple: you type in a band name, click a button that reads "What Should I Drink" and then Drinkify sends you back a photo of the band and and ingredient list with instructions. Drinkify's output is based on a combination of search results, including band biographies, images and top tracks. The drink suggestions are usually cocktails, and many of them are eerily-similar to the fancy-folk drinks that are served up at the Royale.

Because there is so much information available online, the results are sometimes scary-accurate. For example, if a band puts its favorite beer in its bio, that is probably the beer that Drinkify will suggest.

To test out the site and get an accurate sample of the responses supplied by Drinkify, I searched for every band and performer who was nominated for our RFT Music Awards this year plus some classic St. Louis performers and a few personal favorites.

The results ranged from W.T.F. (Pokey LaFarge) to SHOCKINGLY ACCURATE (Sex Robots) to YEAH, PROBABLY (Funky Butt Brass Band) to THAT'S RAW (Murphy Lee).

Of course, there were some glitches; it's not a perfect system. But there were some cool surprises, too. Here's a few findings of my research:

  • Drinkify didn't offer a suggested cocktail for every band I tried or it returned the wrong result. Which is a shame, really, because I'd like to buy Magic City a drink. (Ed. seconded.)
  • Sometimes Drinkify gave cocktail result but with no band picture included to certify that this drink was, indeed, for this band. I decided that these results probably couldn't be relied upon, until I searched for .e. Drinkify says that when listening to .e, the suggested cocktail is 12 oz. of marijuana, served on the rocks. Yeah, that sounds about right.
  • Drinkify is totally postmodern. It is aware of itself and of other memes. For instance, a search for the Jumpstarts resulted with a suggestion of "4 oz. of White whine."


Check out our comprehensive list below. Which drink would you most like to try? If you're an artist, will you be sampling your own drink? And who had a cool result that wasn't included on this list?

"THE BETH BOMBARA"
6 oz. Home brew
Serve neat. Stir quickly. Garnish with sprig of mint.

"THE BIG GEORGE BROCK"
8 oz. Vodka
Serve neat. Stir vigorously.

"THE BLACK SPADE"
6 oz. Rum
Serve on rocks. Stir slowly.

"THE BLIND EYES"
12 oz. Horilka
12 oz. Coke
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE BOREAN DUSK"
8 oz. Woodford Reserve Bourbon
Serve neat. Stir quickly. Garnish with twist of lemon.

"THE BOTTLE ROCKETS"
8 oz. Moonshine
8 oz. V812 oz. Grapefruit juice
Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously. Garnish with maraschino cherry.

"THE BREAKS"
8 oz. Coke
8 oz. Tequila Añejo
8 oz. Coffee
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE BUNNYGRUNT"
12 oz. Vodka
Serve neat. Garnish with twist of grapefruit.

"THE BRADD YOUNG"
6 oz. Ogogoro
Serve on rocks.

"THE BROTHERS LAZAROFF"
4 oz. Fernet
Serve neat. Stir vigorously. Garnish with wedge of pineapple.

"THE BRYANT STEWART"
1 bottle Chilli pepper Vodka
1 bottle Iced tea
4 oz. Jägermeister
Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve. Garnish with salt.

"THE CASSIE MORGAN"
4 oz. Microbrew
Serve neat. Stir slowly. Garnish with cocktail onions.

"THE CHUCK BERRY"
8 oz. Maker's Mark Bourbon
8 oz. Pineapple juice
Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously.

"THE CONFORMISTS"
1 Anchor Steam
Serve cold. Garnish with fresh berries.

"THE CROSS EXAMINATION"
1 Brooklyn Lager
Serve cold.

"THE DAVE BLACK"
1 bottle Merlot
Serve at room temperature.

"THE DENISE THIMES"
1 oz. Hendricks Gin
1 oz. Nordic Mist
1 oz. Nordic Mist
Combine in highball glass and serve. Garnish with wedge of watermelon.

"THE DISAPPEARED"
2 oz. Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey
Serve neat.

"THE DOOM TOWN"
12 oz. Pisco
Serve on rocks. Garnish with national flag.

"THE DUBB NUBB"
2 oz. Havana Club Dark Rum
Serve neat.

"THE EARTHWORMS"
6 oz. Rum
Serve neat. Stir slowly.

"THE FISTER"
4 oz. Canadian Club Whiskey
4 oz. Coco López
8 oz. Fernet
Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

"THE FONTELLA BASS"
10 oz. Gin
Serve neat. Garnish with fire.

"THE FRANKENHOOKERS"
1 oz. Cachaça
1 oz. Lemon sour
Combine in highball glass and serve.

"THE FRESH HEIR"
1 oz. Blackwoods Gin
Serve on rocks. Stir slowly. Garnish with twist of grapefruit.

My Voice Nation Help
29 comments
BassAmp and Dano
BassAmp and Dano

THE BASSAMP & DANO1 Bottle Whiskey4oz GasolineShake recklessly, serve in broken glass, garnish with fire. 

langatang
langatang

I just don't think anyone could trust a drink named after me... no matter how you try slice my name up it sounds expensive, harsh, and unamerican!!! On no!  I'll never be able to buy anyone rounds of Langen Neubachers!

Wwwmmmxxx
Wwwmmmxxx

what about bands like; LOUG,ANAL,or THE SAW IS FAMILY?? RFT i s alittle biased to certain bands, all of the time.

Wwwmmmxxx
Wwwmmmxxx

also the Qualuudes are an awesome band!!

Orbz
Orbz

oh and the Via Dove fan

“THE VIA DOVE8 oz. Honey Vodka8 oz. Coco LópezCombine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

Orbz
Orbz

“THE ORBZ8 oz. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum8 oz. Monster Energy DrinkCombine in highball glass and serve.

This is fun!

Ellendefelon
Ellendefelon

It would take a nights worth of drinks to describe me. And a bloody Mary the next morning. Hee hee.

rip dvd to wmv
rip dvd to wmv

That is prettty great, haha, nice and creative ideas to me! Admire!

rft writers are so basic.
rft writers are so basic.

So you really sat around drinkifying 100 bands? Where's one ounce of originality in this busted article? You couldn't come up with one on your own? Gurl bye.

Pancake Master
Pancake Master

Oh my, but they do appear to know me well:

“The Googolplexia”

2 oz. Schnapps2 oz. Ginger Ale8 oz. Cream

Combine in highball glass and serve. Garnish with umbrella.

Which seems appropriate considering I released a record with a cocktail umbrella included with it.  Even though A) it wasn't my own record, and B) clearly Drinkify was referring to a real umbrella, not a cocktail umbrella.

Reid
Reid

The completely overlooked!??VIA DOVE

Seriously???

Snarz
Snarz

I can safely say that I will never try The Fister.

Bredon Jones
Bredon Jones

The Last to Show First to Go6 oz. Glenmorangie ScotchServe on rocks. Garnish with cocktail onion.

This is schockingly accurate.

Stl_Bob
Stl_Bob

Earthworms has an album called Bottle Full of Bourbon. How did drinkify not catch that?

Stl_Bob
Stl_Bob

Also, LOL at The Humdrum. The stirring is pretty important in that one.

ADULT FUR
ADULT FUR

Since you didn't list any bands whose names begin with the letter "A", I'll gladly inform you that the appropriate beverage to enjoy while listening to ADULT FUR is a Sazerac, served straight up, chilled.  Though ADULT FUR has been listed on the sites queried by drinkify.org for quite a while now, I do not show up there.  OH WELL!  DRINK ON!http://adultfur.com

Kiernan Maletsky
Kiernan Maletsky

Maybe more bands with names beginning in "A" will be nominated for RFT Music Awards next year. Or maybe Drinkify will find results for our Aloha. Either way, bottoms up!

ADULT FUR
ADULT FUR

I hope they find Aloha! She's lovely.

OJMOB
OJMOB

"THE O.J.M.O.B."1 bottle of "Green Dragon"1 bottle of "Jameson Irish Whiskey"Serve cold. Garnish with weed.

ojmob.bandcamp.com

Zac
Zac

This would have been more interesting had you suggested your own pairings, something like this: http://pavementandbeerforpeace...

Kiernan Maletsky
Kiernan Maletsky

Except that this actually does pair with the band in question -- any bands Drinkify didn't have a tailored suggestion for are sorted in a list on page 4. But I appreciate a good plug when I see one: Head on over, post-punk and microbrew fans! 

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