Lana Del Rey's SNL Debacle: Maybe She Should Just Hire Clams Casino to Produce Everything

Categories: Fiesta!

lana-del-rey-single.jpeg
The question you have to ask yourself is exactly how many people have Googled "lana del rey topless" today. Or maybe you're lucky enough to not be asking questions.
We have categorically avoided the subject of Lana Del Rey in this space, mostly because we are generally of the opinion that no matter how you feel about her/her generated persona/her reflexivity online, to discuss it is to let the terrorists Lana Del Rey win.

And it's not this weekend's (ahem) lackluster performance on Saturday Night Live that has finally forced us to break our silence. No, it is Clams Casino, who we first took note of carrying Lil B behind him way back in 2009. And Clams, whose 2011 mixtape of instrumentals earned him some highly well-deserved notoriety, is the spaced-out soul mate Lana didn't know she was missing.

The common complaints about Lana Del Rey's actual musicianship tend to center on her zombie-esque vocal delivery and droning song constructions. Backed by weepy orchestras, we tend to agree. But hovering like molasses over a Clams Casino head trip, she is something nearly supernatural. If the interpretation that says she is headed for critique of continuing patriarchy with her love-me-or-I'll-die narrators, then the Casino production sounds like the topsy-turvy confusion and buried rage that goes with it.

Also, we will recreate the scene above, with me (your not-very-concerned music editor) in the role of Lana Del Rey pouting in the embrace of whoever we can get to agree to it if no one comments on this post. Go ahead, Internet -- prove us wrong.

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Chris Ward
Chris Ward

Sad to see Florence and the Machine abusing Ambien. Video Games is still a good song though. HATERZ GONNA HATE AMIRITE?!

Errr!
Errr!

Anyone remember Mazzy Star???  Imagine if she had been kicked in the head a few times by a donkey and hadn't quite finished her rehab from the brain injuries before getting back into music.  Yes - you would have Lana Del Rey.

So terrible...... 

Pancake Master
Pancake Master

I believe Mazzy Star was a band, and not an individual.  Like Molly Hatchet, Uriah Heep, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Bettie Serveert, ya know?

desk69
desk69

I heard she just got hired as a Wal.Mart Greeter but she is Not allowed to open her mouth, just point... Adele has a three octave voice, she has a 0 Octave voice... After her performance she couldn't even get hired singing on a video game... Just pukey horrible!!!

Ryan Wasoba
Ryan Wasoba

I know people hate on Lana Del Rey for her overly publicized, prematurely hyped career, which is normal. I hate on Lana Del Rey because she blatantly stole footage from a Ryland Bouchard (aka "The Robot Ate Me") music video for her first "Video Games" Youtube video. The video was taken down for a bit and I think Ryland got a few grand to allow it back up so they didn't have to re-upload and lose their 400,000 views. There's your even-the-independent-music-industry-is-crazy fun fact of the day!

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