"Laid Back" Local Band Various Hands Seeks New Drummer, Keyboardist

various hands_opt (1).jpg
Various Hands, taking it easy onstage
Local dance-rockers Various Hands (find their music here) are seeking dedicated musicians to fill their old drummer and keyboardist's shoes, having recently posted ads for both on Craigslist. The self-described laid back, easy to work with band has a few rather specific requirements though:

- Must be between the ages of 23 and 29 (important for their cohesive look)
- Social drinking is OK, nothing more (I personally no longer qualify)
- Must have pro gear with brand names on it
- Need to have reliable transportation and be able to practice multiple times a week
- Must include a photo with your e-mail (I assume they want professional headshots? Maybe not)
- Males AND females welcome (!)

Click through to see the rest of the laid back band's relaxed, easy-like-sunday-morning Craigslist ad and start getting your resume together:

From this Craigslist ad, and a similar one advertising for the keyboardist position:

"Indie dance-rockers, VARIOUS HANDS, are seeking a dedicated drummer [/ keyboardist]. Style is indie dance rock with alternative overtones, think of it as Minus The Bear and We Are Scientists meets new school Incubus and We Were Promised Jetpacks. Males and females welcome.

Candidate needs to have a professional look. Please have pro gear (meaning brand names) and reliable transportation along with stage experience and stage presence/charisma (this is a biggie), studio experience is a major plus too. Rehearsals are 1-2 times a week. We have a rehearsal space in south county with PA. Looking for ages 23-29, we are being strict on the age range for the sake of keeping a cohesive look so if you do not fall into this range please do not reply. No druggies or alcoholics, social drinking is fine but nothing else. The goal for this band is to get signed to a label so we need everyone to be on this page as well. Our debut EP is distributed by JMD Distribution (a subsidiary of INgrooves/Universal Music Group). We currently have music in rotation on roughly 300 college FM radio stations across the U.S. and Canada and we just signed licenses with 14 different TV networks and programs (including Discovery, Fox Sports, MTV, E!, etc.) for placement on their programs so there is the opportunity to make some money and get some big time exposure. We have also toured the Midwest and have very good rapport with venues across the region.

[Drummer:] Sound-wise we are looking for someone that has solid, steady tempo that can keep things simple, dancey and to the point but can get fancy if needed. Also know how to pick your spots in terms of fills. We're looking for someone that has a style similar to that of Erin Tate of Minus The Bear or Ronnie Vannucci Jr. of The Killers.

[Keyboardist:] Sound-wise we are looking for someone that can provide that icing on the cake element to really round out the songs. Looking for more synth type stuff rather than straight piano. Can play leads and rhythms. Think The Killers or Minus The Bear's songs from the album Omni. Vocal abilities a BIG plus.

In your email please include ALL of the following:
- Age
- Gear list
- Photo(s)
- Previous music experience
- Links to audio or video (if available)

You may listen to the debut EP and find all pertinent info at sonicbids.com/varioushands and facebook.com/varioushands.

We are very easy to work with, VERY laid back and very open minded when it comes to writing and other peoples' ideas, you need to be the same.

Thank you in advance for your interest and your time. "



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4 comments
orangeandfuzzy
orangeandfuzzy

i think they are so specific because they need to buy fans..the music is horrible and pretty desperate, just like this ad.  you should have read the bass player one a couple years ago.  

Drew Gowran
Drew Gowran

I personally feel sorry for any band for having to be so anal over who joins and what gear and personal habits they have. I also feel sorry for the RFT for making an article about this. Get a grip Daniel. You can spend time writing on something encouraging and likable. This is very douche like of you. I think the band could use a little inside help from people who have an understanding that it's not important to take your band so seriously. 

Reid
Reid

So, why make fun of them?

Jonas
Jonas

so they shut down craigslist? damn

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