Romantic Misadventures and Song Selections for Karaoke Virgins
Illustration by Mike Gorman
Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing email@example.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.
Is there an appropriate way to hit on your karaoke host? I've always assumed that bar staff are off-limits, since I wouldn't be comfortable with somebody hitting on me in my workplace. That said, I think the only way to attempt it would be to sing that Tommy Tutone song with changed lyrics: "You got it, you got it. You got my number on the wall. You got it, you got it. For a good time, for a good time call," and then you sing your phone number. Downside: Everyone gets your number. But I'm of the belief that you should always go big or go home. -- Get That Girl
You're right. Though singers hit on me nearly every week (usually after they've had a few drinks), I generally won't date the folks I meet while hosting karaoke. Admittedly, I've considered it. I mean, when a dreamy guy croons "Alison" while staring into my eyes or when he shuffles over, looks down and mumbles, "Um, will you go out with me, maybe, please?" in the cutest, most awkward method this side of a John Hughes movie, it's hard to keep my melty feelings in check. And I'm all about big movie moments! Pair the ask with an appropriate soundtrack, and there's almost no way I'll say no.
As much as I love creative courtship, I have to force myself to remember that the karaoke bar is my office. I wouldn't date my coworker or client in a regular office setting, right? That way lies madness, along with awkwardness, resentment and low productivity. Besides, these guys usually don't want to date me; they just want the idea of me. Not to get all psychological on you, but as a cute girl who feeds egos and offers ear candy, I represent all the things a guy's current existence is missing. I guess I'm technically not much different from a Hooters girl in that regard, but I have smaller boobs and way better musical taste.
That said, your Tommy Tutone idea isn't terrible. I certainly would take notice, blush madly and try to hide my grin. But even if it were obvious that my hormones and your hormones wanted to tango, I'd still politely decline. That is, unless you stopped coming to my bar, I got fired or you brought a guitar when you asked me out. All bets are off, then.