Election Night Comedy Debates: Spend One Last Night With Seven Of the Mouthbreathers You Blocked On Facebook Months Ago
Representing Conservative Republicans:
Young Republican, a man who hopes to make up for his high school dating record with wealth and power later in life:
Question: Will the Republican party suffer without a sideshow circus candidate involved like Sarah Palin?
Answer: After blushing and stuttering for a few minutes, he said, "I will drive a German car one day. Mark my words."
The Black Republican:
Question: Do you think a venture capitalist can really get the black and female vote?
Answer: "I am so confused with who I am right now." (He then went on a curse-laced tirade about people looking for handouts and Barack's plan to redistribute wealth. The tirade cannot be published here.)
Really Old Conservative Guy:
Question: Do you think Romney compares favorably to Ronald Reagan?
Answer: (The contestant voiced his answer to several inanimate objects in the room, not me.) "Obama was born in Africa."
BONUS: Representing the political confused:
The Undecided Voter: "If Barack is so freaking awesome, why hasn't anybody green-lighted a Tommy Boy 2 during his presidency? Or a Chipotle in my neighborhood? Huh"