Karaoke as Aphrodisiac?

Karaoke_Gorman.jpg
Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Have celebrities ever stopped by your bar for karaoke? -- Paparazzi

Ha! I've had a lot of people who think they're celebrities stop by. Really, sing enough karaoke at this or any bar, and people start to recognize you. Some customers might even buy you drinks if you're awesomely nice or a good singer or you perform their requests.

An American Idol contestant often visits when he's home from school. He was on TV somewhere beyond the audition shows but cut before the judges picked their ten or whatever finalists. That's about as "celebrity" as it gets in my little South County bar, and I sort of like it that way.

Would karaoke make for a good date? What song should I sing? -- Lips of an Angel

Should I read this as "What song should I sing if I want to impress my date and make them feel good enough to sleep with me?" Because I totally am.

First, I love that you want to take a date out for karaoke. It shows that you're creative with your dating activities and not afraid of a little silliness. As long as you've already identified that the object of your affection is the type of person who would be entertained by public performance instead of mortified by it, you're halfway to Rumpshakerland.

As for song choice, consider if you're a karaoke regular. If not, refer to my rules for n00bs. If you get your groove on often, choose something that you've gotten pretty good at singing. Beyond that, tie your song choice to something the two of you have already discussed. Did you talk about Jon Bon Jovi's heroin-addled daughter during the car ride? Sing "Wanted Dead or Alive." Did you each catch that Grease-themed episode of Glee? Offer to duet to "Summer Nights." Have you had that magical conversation about what music means to you and the precise moment you began liking your top ten bands? No? That's just me? Fine then.

The point is to have fun while making your date feel special, like you've paid attention to them other than just at nookie time. Oddly enough, that begets even more of said nookie time. But whatever you do, don't sing "I'll Make Love to You" while staring into your favorite person's eyes. Just... ick.

My Voice Nation Help
6 comments
AMBabka
AMBabka

@fakeswarbrick @4LeafCloverGirl Welcome to my world.

4LeafCloverGirl
4LeafCloverGirl

@FakeSwarbrick @ambabka I'm in! #BabkaCheeringSection #Karaoke

AMBabka
AMBabka

@fakeswarbrick @4LeafCloverGirl We should get those shirts for the whole table! IN PINK AND PURPLE, with "Allison: #Karaoke Death Star."

AMBabka
AMBabka

@fakeswarbrick Side note! Trying out for a new #karaoke gig on the 19th. Come out & cheer like I'm best ever! Talk to @4LeafCloverGirl!

AMBabka
AMBabka

@fakeswarbrick @rftmusic I don't think I want a piece of ass from someone who's going to weep during a song about a DOG. #rftkaraoke

AMBabka
AMBabka

@redkaraoke @mochaprince @techkaraoke Thanks again for RTs for today's #rftkaraoke column. Hubba hubba. ;)

Now Trending

St. Louis Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...