To The Asshole Who Sat Behind Me At the Springsteen Show in Kansas City
See what you were missing?
2. When you are gesticulating angrily and you accidentally spill beer all over the person in front of you, the correct response is to say "I'm sorry." If you are a particularly chivalrous individual, you might even offer to get some napkins or something, but, really, "Sorry" will do.
The correct response is never to look at the person blankly and shrug.
3. When, half an hour later, it occurs to you that maybe you should apologize for spilling your beer over the person in front of you, you should apologize to the person in front of you, the one you spilled beer on. Not her boyfriend.
4. And after you fail to exhibit the most basic form of concert etiquette, you have absolutely no right to get up and lecture other people about standing up and dancing. Particularly at a Springsteen concert, which, whatever you may think of the music itself, is about joy and generosity of spirit.
But since you possess neither of these qualities, it should probably come as no surprise that you will get up and leave the show at regular intervals and for long periods of time, and then disrupt everyone else's seating arrangements upon your return.
5. As you make everyone get up and move around because of you, you continue to blame the altitude of section 222 for your bad behavior. But hey guess what? It ain't section 222, you asshole. It's all you.