Six Tips for Dating a Musician

Categories: Sound Advice


5. Be a Modest Muse

Accept that he may write songs about your personal lives. Then, he will sing those songs to masses of people that you know and don't know. He will describe your deepest romantic moments and most insane freak-outs to strangers. Possibly worse than this, is that he will tell them to your closest friends also. They may learn your favorite sex position, your secret nicknames, or that you like to pee with the bathroom door open.

Get used to it, but don't get a big head about it either. No one wants to continually be reminded that "This song is about me!" They probably already figured that out. (If you need to get out the excitement that you are a musical muse, go listen to the Naked and Famous' "Girls Like You" in your headphones while you dance around your bedroom in your underwear, double checking how hot your bod is in the mirror.)

Accept that he writes song about other people. You are probably not the first girl he fell in love with. They have songs too, and he's not going to stop playing them. Plus, not every song out there is about romance and heartbreak. Inspiration finds him in the strangest places. His father, his love for booze and weed, his best friend, all the times he got mugged: All these and more will probably enter the picture at some point. I once witnessed a city squirrel inspire lyrics: "Ghetto squirrel, where do you hide your nuts?"

6. Music Talk 24/7

He's a musician. He loves music. He will want to talk about music at every chance he gets. Not just his music, but his friends' music and the music that he loves and strives to emulate. If you're not into this music, that's okay, but don't sit around bashing the things he thinks are great. If you can't find common ground when it comes to music, you are dating within the wrong genre. You can have different tastes, but you are going to need to be open and understanding to his likes and dislikes, as he will need to do the same. Sometimes you won't want to hear about the same album that changed his life over and over again -- but you are going to. Get used to it, and try to love that album also.

In short, if you're not into talking about music, going to shows, or hearing songs about yourself...you need to stop dating a musician.

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23 comments
reeeaaaallllly
reeeaaaallllly

According to this article, I guess St. Louis doesn't have any female musicians? Also, according to the December 20-26 issue, "2012: year in music" St. Louis doesn't have any non-white musicians either. Funny, given the make-up of the population of this city.
Keep up the good journalism ya hipster douche bags!

jennmderose
jennmderose

Cassie, you can do it though.. Ryne is a peach.

jennmderose
jennmderose

Dating musicians....I have some tips of my own:

1. Don't do it.

2 .If you must do it, do not go to every show. You will hate him, yourself, and the fans.

3. Be prepared to spend a lot of time by yourself. Get a sweet creative hobby. 

4. Don't do it. Really. 

meaghanselm
meaghanselm

@ellenchart @rftmusic Patience my dear. Long gigs/practices, once a date night now a speed lunch/facetime chat, watch him flirt with others.

JamieTDrew
JamieTDrew

@fgrant2 yes, yes, sexist nonsense written by a teenager, but can we talk about how terrible the band name "The Hobosexuals" is?

pgh_guy
pgh_guy

@tedgioia Perhaps the sequel should be entitled "Sex tips for dating a musician."

meaghanselm
meaghanselm

@ellenchart since it was written by @rftmusic I can only assume it will be incredibly inaccurate but I'll let you know when I read it.

rftmusic
rftmusic

@ericdpeters @rftmusic thanks for the RT!

madebylaurenb
madebylaurenb

@ericdpeters @rftmusic I would have liked this to be less gender biased. Creative-types are girls, too.

hsmith5
hsmith5

What about female musicians...?

Kenny Snarzyk
Kenny Snarzyk

I approve, and I date all the cool musicians.

RFT Music
RFT Music

Normandie Wilson does not approve.

fgrant2
fgrant2

@JamieTDrew I know, absolutely hideous. What is wrong with these people?

rftmusic
rftmusic

@madebylaurenb @ericdpeters There's an explanation in the open that explains that it applies equally to any gender.

jennmderose
jennmderose

@MegazordButts @jennmderose

Not even close. Why, you looking?

I just think that trying to date a musician because they play music is an incredibly stupid reason... And I really like Cassie, but the piece comes off sounding pretty damn submissive. 

madebylaurenb
madebylaurenb

@rftmusic I think that point got lost pretty quickly. An afterthought is just that, I guess.

Daniel_Hill
Daniel_Hill

@madebylaurenb When I reply here on the post, are you alerted about it on Twitter? I'm not sure how that works, honestly. Anyway, i dislike the curt nature of Twitter's wordcount limits, so allow me to explain myself here:

I considered exactly this point that you are bringing up when editing this post, and my options were either to insert a "disclaimer" of sorts into the opening paragraph or to change all the he's and him's into he/she him/her, which reads horribly. My point that the author of the piece is a female (and a kickass, creative writer-type of a female, at that) was merely to say that it is written this way because it was written from the perspective of a girl with a boyfriend in a band, and so therefore it is her experience. No disrespect intended.

rftmusic
rftmusic

@madebylaurenb The only other option would have been an article filled with he/shes and him/hers. Worth nothing that the author is female.

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