Getting Over Your Fear of Karaoke

Karaoke_Gorman.jpg
Illustration by Mike Gorman
Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

I know a guy who only sings TV theme songs at karaoke. What the hell is up with that? -- Sha-la-la-laaaaa

Please pass my Twitter handle to that dude. I looooooove TV -- especially old TV. Except for a few current shows, I pretty much watch only what's on the Antenna TV and Me TV channels. I'm living off of a steady diet of "The Brady Bunch," "Dragnet" and "All in the Family," so if someone starts singing TV theme songs, I'm obviously going to become mooney-eyed. Of course, by admitting this, I'm also diminishing my chances of ever getting laid again, so there's that.

But TV themes in a karaoke setting? That doesn't work for everyone. While I might be getting all flushed behind the rig as someone performs "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You," most of my audience is groaning or heading outside for a cigarette. I presume that your "Saved by the Bell"-singing friend feels the way I do and simply is oblivious to the crowd turning on him. Gently advise the Alan Thicke wannabe to mix a few radio singles into his act (No, the full-length version of the "Scrubs" theme does not count) and save the all-TV nights for special occasions. Like, I don't know, a date with me.

If that fails, console yourself with knowing that most TV theme songs are over in less than a minute. It's really a lot like... well... just read the next question.


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