5 Helpful Tips for Doing Karaoke with Your Co-Workers

What do you do about girls who wear leggings as pants, are drunk on Long Island iced teas, fist pump with abandon and sing awful songs? -- I Hate Everything About You

As a KJ, I loathe this situation. When I match the five names on the "Shoop" request slip to the ridiculous girls sitting on each others's laps and scrunching up pages in my song book, I put their song off as long as possible, hoping they'll get bored and leave before any of us have to live through what I know will be visual and aural hell. Mean? Maybe. But that's the power that comes with being the karaoke host.

When I can't delay the inevitable any longer, I turn down their mic volume and crank up the music to spare the ears of those in the crowd. I also tweet the awfulness to my 1,551 Twitter followers. You've been warned, people.

What do you think about user-added profanity? Many moons ago, my future wife dared me to drop F-bombs during "Come Sail Away." I won $1. -- Fuck the Pain Away

No one likes a "fuck-er." It might be Adam Sandler-funny at first, but if you drop "fuck" after "fuck" after "fuck" into "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," your audience is bound to get bored and your KJ will wish lasers could shoot out of her eyes and disintegrate you. Don't be that guy.

That's not you, though. You sound like the kind of guy who would thoughtfully make sure no children are eating dinner in the bar (it happens) when you're considering going full-pottymouth. The kind of guy who would assess his audience's song interests and humor level before trying his hand at blue karaoke. The kind of guy who would know exactly where to drop the most "fucks" into his song for maximum impact. In other words, you sound like a classy kind of "fuck-er," and I would happily welcome you to the stage.

Unti you fuck it up, that is. Then I'm turning down your mic.

As an in-demand karaoke host at multiple bars and events, Allison Babka receives her share of drunken song dedications, occasionally makes people cry and even has been glorified by a singing psychic. She's considering adding "Call Me Maybe" to her personal karaoke repertoire, and she hates herself for it. Bug her with karaoke nonsense on Twitter at @ambabka, and use #rftkaraoke.

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