The Best Part About The Mars Volta Was Their Hair

Categories: Fiesta!

mars-volta hair.jpg
See? Gorgeous.
The Mars Volta was a rock band from Texas [not California - Thanks Matt!] [<----See? Thanks Jess!], which is a place where bands are frequently formed. Other bands formed in Texas include the Toadies, Los Lonely Boys and the band that spawned the Mars Volta, At The Drive-In. At The Drive-In is best known for once having a song on MTV for a short period of time. It was called "One Armed Scissor" and it took the world by storm with the force of any song by Yellowcard or even Fountains of Wayne.

Then, on January 24th, 2013, the Mars Volta broke up.

See also:
-Lessons Learned From Loving And Hating the Mars Volta

I don't know a whole lot about the Mars Volta, so I'm perfectly qualified to talk about them. Why? Because most of us don't know a whole lot about the Mars Volta. However, if you ask anyone under the age of 40 in possession of a denim jacket, you'll probably hear a (completely appropriate) description of the band as "those guys who wear dad glasses and have hipster afros."

I've been sitting here trying to find an eloquent way to explain the impact of this band on the music industry, and the impact that this break-up will have on it, but there's no way to mince words - the best part about the Mars Volta was probably their hair. Fairly bushy and kind of ratty-looking, it set the band apart and set a standard that the band itself could not prove equal to. Still, these brave men with hyphenated last names wore vests, belted out high-pitched vocals and played guitar kind of fast and with a lot of delay - all while armed to the teeth with vocalist Cedric Bixler-Zavala's dizzying lyrics:

"Neonecropopulace has no reflection / Neocaeczaristic phallic ruins / Just east of the river denial the techs are breathing / Welcome to this neotokyo / Gridlocks will warn the chromlech alarms / Bouquet of cuticles/Landscape tantrums"

Jesus. I thought I was going to have to edit together 100 lines from each of their songs to illustrate what I mean, but what do you know, the very first song on the band's very first EP seems to do the trick. Commenting on the band's break-up, our modern-day T.S. Eliot said something on Twitter that's similarly stupid and abstract:

marsvoltatweet.jpg

It doesn't make a ton of sense, even placed in context, but Cedric Bixler-Zavala is referring to Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and his new band, Bosnian Rainbows - a name that makes you wonder if Rodriguez-Lopez was actually the true author of the band's cumbersome lyrics.

Anyway, The Mars Volta are gone now and have taken their bitchin' hair and all of their overblown whatever-the-fuck-that-was with them. If you honestly feel a deep loss, go back to high-school and take drugs until you discover King Crimson, Brand X, Weather Report, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Gong and the flood of other incredible progressive groups of the '70s. In the meantime, take solace in the fact that Coldplay will probably never break up, so you'll still have a place to go when you want to spend 30 bucks on a t-shirt. Too bad Coldplay's hair sucks..

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21 comments
groovyrooby
groovyrooby

yikes. this isn't even hipster funny. and there's nothing abstract about Cedric's complaint. it's pretty straightforward.

kpumaorn
kpumaorn

this article is funny. 

timothyjava
timothyjava

I like some of the early mars volta stuff and also am a huge 70s prog nerd (esp RUSH.) But Drew killed it on the feel of this article in terms of prog bands. The beauty of these bands is they have the ability to make fun of themselves and be made fun of till the end of time (which should be their focus ya know to get better at what you do.) They also have the ability to take things as serious as humanly possible.. thats why they accumulate such strong fans (aka they weed out the pussys that take things personal.) So again, i think Drew killed it and as for the dude in mars volta that got all butt hurt, you basically just burn bridges rather than building more feeling that way.

RFT Music
RFT Music

I probably do. I usually do.

Jess Luther
Jess Luther

Well don't we all just look like dicks.

RFT Music
RFT Music

Jess - You are right version 2.0. Edited again with credit to Matt for the correction AND credit to Jess for the correction of the correction.

Billie Tippit
Billie Tippit

I heard Mars Volta's hair is from Connecticut.

Alex M Powers
Alex M Powers

While I enjoy the author stroking his ego with his list of this band sucks because I listen to 70's prog-rock "I don't know a whole lot about the Mars Volta, so I'm perfectly qualified to talk about them. If you honestly feel a deep loss, go back to high-school and take drugs until you discover King Crimson, Brand X, Weather Report, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Gong and the flood of other incredible progressive groups of the '70s." - I would think it would be of better service to your publication to pick an author who would invite the opportunity to write a story that people (or fans in my case) would want to read instead of negative dribble about their hair that only sets out to hold your publication back. I understand wanting to make a witty joke but you can save the 140 character responses for twitter.

Matt Harnish
Matt Harnish

Well, if you're gonna hinge your first joke on where they're from, and then get that wrong, it makes the rest of the piece look dumber. And it's not like California is inherently funny, like Canadia or Belleville. It should be noted that I've maybe heard one Mars Volta record, so I'm more critiquing the piece, not the writer's stance. And also, who cares what I'm talking about...

Jess Luther
Jess Luther

One cool thing to do when you fuck up, though, is to acknowledge the edit and whoever made you aware of it. No sarcasm or rudeness intended, just something to consider.

RFT Music
RFT Music

You are all correct, of course, but I did find a piece of info that explains where the confusion came in - Mars Volta played its first show in Cali.

Bryan Sutter
Bryan Sutter

When you're throwing a man under a train, his astrological sign shouldn't be required knowledge for the action. However, yeah, they're not from California.

Alex M Powers
Alex M Powers

The Mars Volta are from El Paso, TX as well. This could have easily been found on their Wikipedia page. This is probably one of the worst articles I've read thus far on RFT Music. If the only thing your author has to write about the Mars Volta's career is their hair style then there is a larger problem that needs to be addressed in the way in which you hire your staff based upon their musical palette. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKjxFJfcrcA

Matt Harnish
Matt Harnish

At The Drive In weren't from California.

Tictic Bump
Tictic Bump

Pretty funny. Did like the "overblown whatever-the-fuck-that-was" comment.

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