Candles As Band Merch: An In-depth, Intensive Look with GG Allin, Mumford and Sons

Categories: WTF


The fruity, buttery smell of apple pie cooling in a kitchen window on a beautiful spring morning crossed with the delicate sweetness of barnyard hay and the rusting iron smell of dripping blood after a cowboy boot kick to the face. Burns brighter than a funeral pyre for Harry Styles, Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor Kennedy AND Taylor Lautner together; perfect for illuminating your pen and paper as you attempt to compose one magical ex-shredding chart-topping hit after another. Once you light this candle you'll never, ever, ever buy another one.


A special multi-scented candle, the first 10 burn hours release the sweetly spicy, tree bark-esque smell of Faygo root beer. That gently gives way to 10 curiously piquant hours of a brake fluid-like fishy smell mingling with the bouquet of rotten eggs, all redolent of a lonely, ramshackle meth lab in the deep woods under a moonless nighttime sky. (Please note: This candle may explode at any point during the last 10 hours of burn time.)

See also:
-Crotching Whiskey at the Justin Bieber Concert and Getting Thrown Out: A Review
-The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever
-The Ten Worst Music Tattoos Ever

Follow RFT Music on Twitter or Facebook. But go with Twitter. Facebook blows.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

St. Louis Concert Tickets

From the Vault