The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue


bartender fire.jpg
VENGEANCE
1. Refuse to leave.
The bands are done, the bar is closed, and I want to go home. Hanging around after the show is over doesn't make you look cool or important, it makes you a pain in the ass for me and the rest of the staff here who are trying to clean up. That's great that you want to blow the band but maybe you could meet them out by the dumpster? Great, thanks for coming.

See also:
-Crotching Whiskey at the Justin Bieber Concert and Getting Thrown Out: A Review
-The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever
-The Ten Worst Music Tattoos Ever

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69 comments
buttblaster
buttblaster

oh boy, another article from martyr-complex service industry people. fucking shit man, if you don't want to deal with customer service issues, get out of the industry. god damn. you guys can make upwards of 50k a year for doing a job any trained monkey can do, not report most of your income, and STILL manage to constantly fucking complain about the public you get paid to deal with. 

Didier Abeka Chuma
Didier Abeka Chuma

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LastExitInMo
LastExitInMo

I stay out of bars that have touchy, pissy, entitled, diva bartenders.

TomCruise
TomCruise

Every bar tender probably thinks these things from time to time. That's understandable. The good one's though, know better than to actually say these things to their customers. This guy's just writing about an inside perspective.

Bobby Duebelbeis
Bobby Duebelbeis

These lists are so lame. It's almost as if these guys get paid a ton of cash (some can make $100K a year and only report $50K) and get to whine about putting up with the drunk public... which is virtually the *only* other thing besides pouring drinks in their job description. Tell me if I have it twisted, but if your job sucks so bad, that you have to bitch about it 10 different ways, just quit.

Al Herriman
Al Herriman

just once, like the other guy, id like to see the "shitty bartender habits" list. waitin.g on your pals 3 times while i go thirsty, 1oz of liqujor in drinks when nowhere on earth is an ounce a shot, texting while ignoring the customers AGAIN, taking someones order, making their drinks, hen letting them add the guys behind them order too, when ive been waiting my turn instead of using the guy in front of me as my ipso facto bartender. Thats a BIG one. when somebody orders 4 drinks, then orders 4 more, then 2 more, and you let them, youve fucked 3 customers who were waitng politely. According to these lists, every single possibl way of letting a bartender know youre waiting is a massive affront, even when said bartender keeps waiting on the same spot, ignoring 9/10s of the bar. I could go on, and somebody should, because thereare plenty of shitty bartenders out there who dont earn the 20% gratuity they think theyreworth for popping a beer top after a20 minute wait at a bar with 10 people at it.

Joe Winze
Joe Winze

Funny points! I agree that slapping your hand on the bar or flashing a crumpled up $20 is not the official way to flag down a drink...

Ben Mansfield
Ben Mansfield

Tip the guy who's too busy trying to get laid to bring you a refill well...

Wes Slocum
Wes Slocum

With the exception of #s 4,3,2,&1 this asshat has no clue how to be a service professional. Your sole job is to serve drinks to people to make money, so do your fucking job and quit bitching about it. I've worked in the service industry an sometimes it's shitty, but if you don't like it, find a new job. If I walk into a bar and I'm waiting for more than 5 minutes for a drink, I'm out. Especially if there is more than 1 bartender, and if you do your job well, you'll get tipped well. So quit your crying and do your job, after all you are in the SERVICE industry, meaning you serve people!

Kelly McBride
Kelly McBride

#5 is the best! All of this is so true..well said!

Patrick Gonzales
Patrick Gonzales

I'll tell you this... Don't EVER try to steal the bartender's cigarettes!

Brian Chilson
Brian Chilson

I figure the spit content of my food/beverage goes up in direct proportion to the amount of crap I give the server.....so I'm the nicest customer you will have all day

kaotikdrummer
kaotikdrummer

Whoever they interviewed for this is the worst bartender on the planet.I Mean really I don't think they deserve to call themselves a bartender or anything else in the hospitality industry. Good luck with your music blogs because Im sure that you are broke as a bartender

Gene Margherita
Gene Margherita

Take it easy angry bartender. You are in the service industry not law enforcement. Power tripping sucks.

Adam Usher
Adam Usher

But I was next!!! And I'm thirsty!!! What's your name???

Judy Cox Laughton Lilley
Judy Cox Laughton Lilley

I only go to a bar to wait for my table with friends or for a party at work. I am gracious , order simply and tip well.

Ed Rook
Ed Rook

Full disclosure, I tip well and try to be a thoughtful patron when I'm at a bar. But articles where bartenders tell us how to act in a bar are kind of a pet peeve of mine. How about you are a bartender, so do your job and make/serve my drink, and I will pay you for said drink and tip you accordingly. End of story.

Eddie Gregs
Eddie Gregs

Sounds like you need to quit your job if you hate bar tending that much. What do you expect when you work in a place where you get people drunk.

Salvatore Velasco
Salvatore Velasco

I'll never tip well to a doosh bartender who can't do their job or they feel like they have the power to get u a drink or smile or heck do their job. screw that. there used to be a total doosh at a place called creepy crawl back in the day. probably explains y they are out of business. bartenders make great $ they need to do better jobs in my eyes

dayayohut
dayayohut

I've worked in the hospitality industry for 13 years. Big cities, small cities, beach towns, mountain towns. I've heard of some complainers in my day, but wow..... suck it up, grow the fuck up, and work. It's called a job, that shit happens, especially in this industry. If you want to get your panties in a bunch because people are rude, then you need to get the fuck out of the industry, it's not for you.

hinjurock
hinjurock

This works both ways - many bartenders are majorly egotistical, jaded, have bad attitudes and mistakenly think that they reserve the right to be rude and fuck with customers and/or the entertainment simply because they're running the bar and thus are on a power trip. NEWSFLASH: Bartenders generally make a lot more money than the bands who play at their bars do, and it's the customers who are their livelihood, so if anything they should be kissing ass to the customers and bands, not vice versa

Sharon Walker
Sharon Walker

Ha ha! Nice writing...love it! So funny and so true...lol.

deddancer
deddancer

I lot of these are irritating to other customers as well .. bar is busy, the listings are on the wall, you're in line and the one ahead of you gets to the bar, asks what they have (though they had a good 5-10 minutes to read the list on the wall) then asks for a repeat of the listing (that,again, are posted on the wall) , then wants to take 10 minutes deciding what they want to drink .. now the line behind you is 5 people deep .. and the drink comes and oh they forgot to get their money out .. sheesh .. old rule is know what you want by the time you get to the actual bar, have your money available, ask for drink, receive drink, pay, and thank the bartender.  Not exactly brain surgery.  The people behind you will be happier as well.

gambit61
gambit61

In regards to #3: I've actually never been to a bar that DIDN'T do some sort of free drink for birthdays. Then again, I go to awesome bars.

deerlick64
deerlick64

Is the same uptight place with the 15 or so things bands do that annoy the bar.

wooo hooo!

rock n roll and rules!

seriously, if you're a band, don't be a dick.

if you're this fucking bar, lighten the fuck up.

jesus3138
jesus3138

I'm right there with you. I have been tending for 13 years. Any industry disagreeing with has never worked at a place that is high volume & late night.

JackGrimshaw
JackGrimshaw

Jeez, a li'l hungover and cranky, are we, Rick? A pretty bad night, tips-wise? I wonder why?! If I ever plan on bar-hopping in St. Louis, okay if I eml you first, to find out where you're working? That way, I know WHERE TO FUCKIN' AVOID ...

sskillr
sskillr

It always cracks me up when the help starts complaining. . Im not afraid to say i completely agree with omgwtfbbg.

15 jagerbombs, STAT!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

sskillr
sskillr

Wait, isnt this "writer" a failed "comedian" and/or part of a no talent hack "metal" band? bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Jason Brock
Jason Brock

No wonder bartenders hardly get any of my business.

Kristina Williams
Kristina Williams

I agree with this except the part where they insist that you should know what you want to order. I get taking up space and picking your ass is shitty but if I want to talk to you about your selection, that's no reason to be pissy. If it's busy, I get it. Otherwise, it's your job to talk up the product you know? No need to be rude about it.

kathmobley
kathmobley

I thought it was funny & well written. Ala david sedaris. Keep writing. Trolls are trolls.

Moynonet
Moynonet

Hmmmm, why don't I have to deal with these issues very often? Maybe because most customers like me and know that I have their best Interests in mind. Sure, I act like an asshole if it is funny and the customers get the joke. I have hung out too many times with coked out service workers who feel the need to go into full detail about everyone of these type of customers. This article just seems like someone was taking minutes during these redundant sessions. Please tell us where you work so we can avoid it.

Vega$, who likes his job pretty much.

freakoftheweek75
freakoftheweek75

 The reason people are getting all bitchy is because of the delivery of the post. It seems like the author initially intended a funny, witty point of view and with each of the passing 10 points he was trying to make just kept getting more angry. I AM in the industry though not a bartender. YES...sometimes the bartender has to put up with some really unrully offensive idiots but that isn't the norm.

The reason this article comes off so douchey is because of the elitist tone the author takes. Again...it starts out making some valid points and just ends with "fuck you all...i hate people, bartenders rule forevah!!1". It's like watching the movie "Waiting" for the foodservice industry, or "Empire Records" for music stores.  2 hour love-fests aimed at certain occupations to felate themselves and their brothers in employment while making their customers look like classless, tasteless, idiots who just don't get it.

I've been around long enough to know MANY kickass, friendly, great at what they do bartenders. They're usually the ones doing it as a gateway to something better job. Then you get the occasional handful of elitist, hipster, "I'm so counter-culture" pricks who, even though they rely on your tips, try toturn the tables and make it like you're living by their rules for the next 4 hours. (See: this whole article). Guess what...? A septic drain repair man could write a top ten article of ways people are dumb for fucking up their plumbing and sticking stupid things in the toilet bowl....but it still doesn't give them the right to look down their nose at anybody.

Lauren Dugan
Lauren Dugan

Hilarious article and well written in my humble opinion.

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