The Ten Biggest Concert Buzzkills: An Illustrated Guide

Categories: List-O-Rama

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All illustrations by Noah Van Sciver
As vastly different as our tastes are when it comes to music, there's one thing we can all agree on, and that's our distaste for and subsequent amusement/bemusement/resentment with certain individuals who insist on behaving badly at shows. You know who we're talking about. The Talker (universally loathed by everyone), and there's The Setlist Adviser, The Overserved, The Show-off, The Director. Not that we're judging here or anything. God knows we've all broken at least one of these supposed rules of rock. Have you? Check out our field guide of the ten biggest concert buzz killers to find out. Oh, and after you peruse the original list here, be sure to check out the five newest killers that have just been added to the lineup.

See Also:
-The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender

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Noah Van Sciver

10. The Show-off
I think we can all agree that extroversion, as a trait, is a very important part of our existence, right? Without it, of course, we'd all be soulless drones, completely content to watch sitcoms and keep to ourselves. But this is more than that. These individuals aren't just there for the show -- they are the show. The attire of these bashful blokes varies dramatically depending on the person and the show, but generally it ranges from weirdos wearing life-sized stuffed animal getups and looking like liberated outcasts from a furry convention to others wearing, well, nothing, except for duct tape, a spirit hood and maybe the occasional body paint.

See also: The five new buzzkillers that have been added to the original lineup

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14 comments
bottlerocket45
bottlerocket45

The most egregious setlist advisor I've ever seen was at a Nada Surf/ Impossibles show at the Creepy Crawl. This idiot kept screaming, "POPULAR!" He continued this after Nada Surf had finished their set and the Impossibles had taken the stage. At the end of an Impossibles' song, it all became too much. Gabe, one of the lead singers, reached out from stage and slapped the kid square in the face. The good guys won that night. 

groovyrooby
groovyrooby

11. the girl who worms her way all the up to the front, only to whine about people invading her personal space, prompting the chivalrous male accompanying her to protect the delicate flower by forming an unshakeable and sneering fortress around her, smack in the middle of an otherwise lively crowd.

Russ Weiss
Russ Weiss

You almost got it right with the Sun Blocking Giant. It's similar to the chicks who sit on their bf's shoulders the entire concert - right in front of me.

Donald LaMacchia
Donald LaMacchia

I'm #5 but I'm nice, I will let your hot girlfriend stand in front of me.

Michael Allen
Michael Allen

I'm that asshole who came to see the show and doesn't want to be distracted by the dickbags around me.

jay1963
jay1963

#11 The Critic: He feels superior to all the other concert attendees because he writes for the weekly birdcage liner.

emily.wisely
emily.wisely

 Where can I get that Pavement shirt?

Kenny Snarzyk
Kenny Snarzyk

I'm pretty sure I've show bro'd before. Gahhh

pandatits
pandatits

who doesn't like panda tits?

Jake Niehaus
Jake Niehaus

This is great. Number four looks like....me...kinda.

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