Six Perfect Songs for Getting People to Leave
2. Eric Clapton, "Tears in Heaven"
Taking the tragic content song strategy one step further, "Tears in Heaven" is etched into the heart and soul of every being on the planet. You can play this song around a herd of goats and you can watch as they become noticeably sullen and depressed. No matter how many times the party plays that Bubba Sparxxx's "Miss New Booty" song, no one will forget that Eric Clapton's son tragically fell from a 53rd story window.
1. Pink Floyd, "Echoes"
There is no finer song for clearing out a bar than "Echoes." The song, in fact, sounds like the song that would be capable of closing an entire city. Beyond that, it's just killer every single goddamn time -- pensive without being brooding and effortlessly beautiful. The lyrics to "Echoes" are explained by bassist and vocalist Roger Waters as being about "the potential that human beings have for recognizing each other's humanity and responding to it with empathy rather than antipathy."
So while Rogers would probably prefer for you to sit and feel empathy for the twelve people screaming, "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS," you may instead take his song as a challenge issued to those people, the ones who lack the empathy to understand how annoying they are to everyone around them. Watch as people shrug their shoulders and gradually decide to find another bar to terrorize.
Follow Drew Ailes on Twitter @CountBakula.