Ten Must-Have Items When Camping with Juggalos

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Nate "Igor" Smith
5. Boobs
There are so many exposed breasts at this thing. In the words of some dingus on a stage during a contest where women dance while being sprayed with soda, "Fuck Mardi Gras, they give you beads. We give you $250 in merch!" So, ladies, if you've ever needed a T-shirt that says, "I'm a Juggalo Not a Gang Member" and haven't been able to dig up that $12, your sweater meats will make up where your wallet is lacking.

See also:
- The 2013 Gathering of the Juggalos Opens Up (NSFW)

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Drew Ailes
4. Cardboard and a Sharpie
Attached to many of the boobs are cardboard signs, but beyond even that, these signs say anything and everything. If you're looking for a friend, make a sign. If you're looking for drugs, make a sign. Or you can do what one post-modern artist did and just write "Cardboard Sign" on a piece of cardboard.

3. Cash
No one accepts cards. Not a single place. Don't even bother. The ATM fees are $5 each transaction as well, so take out a lot of money. Put half in your wallet and half in your sock.

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Drew Ailes
2. Flashlight
The Gathering is extremely dark everywhere aside from the stage and food areas. To avoid stepping in human feces or on faces, you need some sort of light. Headlamps, glowsticks -- anything. While it'll save you from awkward encounters like stumbling over a tent stake, having a flashlight will also allow you to perform the Scavenger Maneuver: being one of the many people scanning the terrain for unused nitrous oxide canisters and money near the stage after everyone has left the area.

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Drew Ailes
1. Somewhere to Sleep That Isn't a Rented Minivan
Last night I slept on a bunch of empty cans and a bag of beef jerky. I used a 24-ounce can of Budweiser placed under a pillow for proper neck support. I woke up covered in plastic bags, and one of my boots was lying underneath our vehicle.

Find somewhere to sleep that isn't a rented minivan.

See Also:
- Gathering of the Juggalos: Misconceptions and First Impressions
- Death Reported at Gathering of the Juggalos; Drug Bridge Closed
- Ten Things You Do Not Need When Camping With Juggalos
- Behold the Waking Nightmare of Juggalo Port-a-Potties
- The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations
- Death at the Gathering of the Juggalos: "Four Dudes That Had Been Sleeping With a Corpse."
- Juggalo Eats and the Quest for the Mystical Burrito Man
- Here Are the Things That Happen After 5 a.m. at the Gathering of the Juggalos
- This Incredible Make-A-Wish Teenager Went to the Gathering of the Juggalos, Got a Lap Dance (NSFW)
- Juggalo Aftermath: Things We Found on the Ground at the Gathering

Follow RFT Music on Twitter or Facebook. Follow RFT Music editor Daniel Hill on Twitter too, if you are into that sort of thing.

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22 comments
Marc Holst
Marc Holst

I think calling it a taste in music is stretching it, considering I've farted better tunes than ICP.

Rebecca Wagner Smith
Rebecca Wagner Smith

I fear that the many of those women could become victims of sexual assault.

Tori Ramsey
Tori Ramsey

Juggalos are labeled a gang. They weren't saying fuck science, but they were saying to leave science out of it and just appreciate the little things.

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

juggalo's are a labeled cult by the US government, didn't say you were they are, that song was them denouncing science because it actually says "don't give me that shit" in reference to science and yes you are

Tori Ramsey
Tori Ramsey

I'm not in any cult. I'm certainly not Christian. I've never heard them denounce science. I also wasn't arguing.

Mike Vestal
Mike Vestal

Why did does the Rft even cover this...?there is to much good music in the area to give this any publicity...must be the boobs..

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

lol in an interview and in the song they said that was them coming out as christians. and they even state in the song they even denounce science. i'm sorry... mindless. i mean i know there's no point arguing with people in a cult so i'm just gunna end now

Tori Ramsey
Tori Ramsey

And again if you think they were serious when they said that, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

"magnets how the fuck do those work"? no... i think i've got it

Tori Ramsey
Tori Ramsey

Of you think it's preferred not to have brain cells you obviously have no fucking clue what your talking about....

Tori Ramsey
Tori Ramsey

So you want people to hang themselves because their taste in music is different than yours? Grow up...

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

braincells are not a requirement... in fact it's preferred that you don't have any.

DTDTDT
DTDTDT

Your inability to demonstrate the most basic knowledge of English grammar fails to elevate you above the ICP brethren you detest.

Deklipz
Deklipz

@Philip Rock Um...no. The song doesn't denounce science. The songs actually about the wonder and amazement that people looked at the world with when they were children and how most people have lost that as they became adults. And to be clear, the "US government" does not and has never labeled Juggalos as a cult. The FBI added Juggalos to the national gang registry in 2011 which is distributed to law enforcement agencies around the country. Something which Insane Clown Posse and Psychopathic Records are currently suing the FBI to have changed because while there are a handful of Juggalos that have been involved in gang-like activity, Juggalos as a whole are not and have never been a gang. We are no different than Dead-heads or any other musical fanbase.

Deklipz
Deklipz

@Mike Vestal If you don't want to know about it then why did you click the link? To complain? They cover it because it's a pretty goddamn big festival that draws crowds from around the world and is widely regarded with confusion or hate because, like you, most people don't bother to understand and just complain about things that fall outside of their narrow and limited scope of acceptance.

DTDTDT
DTDTDT

@Deklipz  With all due respect man, the ICP community needs to find language to approach "haters" that's different than stuff along the lines of "you're all close-minded"

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