The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations

"Someone died and now she's getting the fuck out of here."

- Random Juggalo wearing a cape

"I accept Jesus into my heart."

- Three people praying near the "From Juggalo to Christian" tent by the entrance

See also: Gathering of the Juggalos: Misconceptions and First Impressions

"Theres only nine hot girls in this whole thing."

"You smell that shit? You almost throw up. That coke -- its almost like molly."

- Two quotes from a group of guys we tried to trade a tallboy of Budweiser to after a short-lived attempt to see what we could barter up to from a beer. We quickly found out that no one had anything worth trading.

"Fuck your camera -- this is for us, not you."

- Yelled from a tent to a photographer

"This is a synthetic drug. It should act like a normal drug -- then people started reacting poorly."

- Random Juggalo

"Oh shit, it leaked down my leg."

- Random Juggalo

[chanting] "Pan-ty sniff-ers! Pan-ty sniff-ers! Tell you what, he said he'll put on the thong and let you smell it."

- Yelled through a megaphone by a large man wearing a sleeveless black work shirt

"I landed on my belly and just started slidin'. Then the four wheeler hit me in the back."

- A sunburned man in his forties to a sunburned man in his twenties

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"Have you seen how they clean these things? They just open a door and blast a hose."

- Random Juggalette, on the condition of the bathrooms

"Fuck him in the ass with a Sharpie for fifteen dollars!"

- Spoken through a megaphone like a carnival barker in an attempt to get some poor kid enough money to get back to Maine. Minutes earlier, he was taking a kick to the testicles for five dollars.

See also: The Gathering of the Juggalos Brings Out Foam and Fireworks on Day 4 (NSFW)

"I got some serious shit -- hand sanitizer will save your life. You'll get Gathering-itus."

- One shirtless Juggalo to another

"Hey are you really trippin'? [Waves hands in kid's face]

- Some asshole with no courtesy for people on mind-bending journeys through space and time

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Nate "Igor" Smith
"I'm gonna rape your mother if you don't buy our drugs"

- Yelled over a megaphone by a kid with a heavy amount of facial tattoos who had been stapling dollar bills to himself and later cut off at least one of his nipples for $80. (It is actually this guy! --ed.)

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Nate "Igor" Smith
"Smoking a blunt on the ferris wheel is the shit!"

- Exclaimed by the happiest person ever seen on the planet

"I'm about to be twerkin'"

- Unknown female voice

"Does anybody wanna buy this megaphone for fifty dollars?"

- Shouted through a megaphone

"Why do I do anything? Fuck life."

- Me, after days at an ICP festival

Follow Daniel Hill on Twitter at @fatrobocop.

See Also:
- Ten Must-Have Items When Camping with Juggalos
- Gathering of the Juggalos: Misconceptions and First Impressions
- Death Reported at Gathering of the Juggalos; Drug Bridge Closed
- Ten Things You Do Not Need When Camping With Juggalos
- Behold the Waking Nightmare of Juggalo Port-a-Potties
- Death at the Gathering of the Juggalos: "Four Dudes That Had Been Sleeping With a Corpse."
- Juggalo Eats and the Quest for the Mystical Burrito Man
- Here Are the Things That Happen After 5 a.m. at the Gathering of the Juggalos
- This Incredible Make-A-Wish Teenager Went to the Gathering of the Juggalos, Got a Lap Dance (NSFW)
- Juggalo Aftermath: Things We Found on the Ground at the Gathering

Follow RFT Music on Twitter or Facebook. Follow RFT Music editor Daniel Hill on Twitter too, if you are into that sort of thing.


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14 comments
lanacarson
lanacarson

I thought this would be funny but it was just sad. I hope everyone there found a shred of human comfort somewhere.

skykoi95
skykoi95

I am so going when I turn 18 next year. JUGGALO FOR LIFE!

daggamouf
daggamouf

*insert generic negative juggalo comment here*

Trent Bronson
Trent Bronson

6 comments already and the tards haven't jumped in defending this cesspool of waste yet?

Bill Jacobs
Bill Jacobs

the face tattoo guy cut his nipple off for 80 bucks and you have his mug shot

Ken Rose
Ken Rose

Juggalos, how do they work?

Ronda Evansco-Brooks
Ronda Evansco-Brooks

I've said many times before.....I'd suggest no one go....I've always thought these shows were stupid and pointless. And liable for something bad to happen....Well, I was right! Someone died and no one cared.

Gary Greenlee
Gary Greenlee

F In RETARDS....PLAIN AND SIMPLE...WAL.MART WONT EVEN LET THEM IN THEIR STORE!!!!!

richboi38
richboi38

SOME PEOPLE'S FUN IS OTHER PEOPLE'S TORTURE SADLY

frigofflahey
frigofflahey

this made my morning, and was a joy to read. i'm no juggalo, but this place seems like a blast to cover. i hope no attendees trash your cameras, i'd be too scared to bring mine, with all the beer-pouring possibilities. stay safe and alert out there, you guys!

Sam Africano
Sam Africano

Um, so a guy really cut his nipple off and was carrying it around in a baggy...

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