The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations

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Nate "Igor" Smith
During the Gathering of the Juggalos, Cave-In Rock, Illinois becomes a sonic disaster zone. Even if you're a rap lover, it's hard to keep your mind sharp with all of the noise. But within the cacophony of sounds, a few incredible Juggalo statements were somehow deciphered and recorded by our numbed ears. The things these people said may not make a ton of sense, but when you are surrounded by a constant thundering bass drum, the maniacal shouting of "whoop, whoop," and the occasional dynamite explosion in the distance...you probably wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, either.

"Oh shit, Metallica!" [starts headbanging]

- One way to be sure that you're at the Gathering is that the Black Album by Metallica is always playing. And no one seems disappointed.

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Nate "Igor" Smith
A juggalo with a "drug bridge" T-Shirt at the Gathering.
"Its synthetic acid. It's from Canada. I won't sell you more than two hits."

- Three sketchy kids wearing gym shorts were sitting outside of a tent with a sign that read, "$10 TRIP YOUR FACE OFF" and said this to us. They claimed to be selling a hallucinogen called 2CB. After hearing reports the next day of multiple overdoses on a drug called 25i (also called N-Bomb, a derivative of 2CB), this encampment mysteriously disappeared. They also offered us a money back guarantee.

See also: Death at the Gathering of the Juggalos: "Four Dudes That Had Been Sleeping With a Corpse."

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"This port-a-jon smells like shit!"

- Shouted by a kid with a wiry frame with homemade tattoos. He yelled at a dude asleep on the ground a few minutes later and was surprisingly effective at getting him up.

"Girl, I would break your neden."

- Said by a kid so young it is difficult to believe he is aware he has a penis. If you're anything like me, you had no idea what "neden" was but picked up on it using context clues pretty quickly.

"Where did my dick go?"

- Only a small piece of garbled nonsense to come from a Juggalo swaying back and forth near a Port-a-John.

"You don't know what a cheeseburger is? Oh my god, they're the best."

- Some girl said this to someone else in a tent we were passing by, I swear to god.

"Im illin' and chillin' with my guts all over the ceiling."

"We're scrubs so we always get the bone."

- Two sets of memorable lyrics from stage performers

"I don't know, I think Whitney Houston should have died."

- Source unknown

"I don't know if you know or care, but do not take the acid."

- Heard from a conversation being held in a golf-cart while passing

"Do not take anything called 'spice' -- that's bath salts."

- From an unnamed associate

"You can take mushrooms and eat acid just as long as you don't have any glass bottles."

- Security at the front gate

Quotations from the Gathering continue on the next page.


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14 comments
lanacarson
lanacarson

I thought this would be funny but it was just sad. I hope everyone there found a shred of human comfort somewhere.

skykoi95
skykoi95

I am so going when I turn 18 next year. JUGGALO FOR LIFE!

daggamouf
daggamouf

*insert generic negative juggalo comment here*

Trent Bronson
Trent Bronson

6 comments already and the tards haven't jumped in defending this cesspool of waste yet?

Bill Jacobs
Bill Jacobs

the face tattoo guy cut his nipple off for 80 bucks and you have his mug shot

Ken Rose
Ken Rose

Juggalos, how do they work?

Ronda Evansco-Brooks
Ronda Evansco-Brooks

I've said many times before.....I'd suggest no one go....I've always thought these shows were stupid and pointless. And liable for something bad to happen....Well, I was right! Someone died and no one cared.

Gary Greenlee
Gary Greenlee

F In RETARDS....PLAIN AND SIMPLE...WAL.MART WONT EVEN LET THEM IN THEIR STORE!!!!!

richboi38
richboi38

SOME PEOPLE'S FUN IS OTHER PEOPLE'S TORTURE SADLY

frigofflahey
frigofflahey

this made my morning, and was a joy to read. i'm no juggalo, but this place seems like a blast to cover. i hope no attendees trash your cameras, i'd be too scared to bring mine, with all the beer-pouring possibilities. stay safe and alert out there, you guys!

Sam Africano
Sam Africano

Um, so a guy really cut his nipple off and was carrying it around in a baggy...

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