Gathering of the Juggalos: Misconceptions and First Impressions

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Nate "Igor" Smith
A juggalo photographed on Wednesday, the first day of the Gathering, 2013.
By its organizers' own assessment, the Gathering of the Juggalos is an event filled with the most misunderstood people of all time. Juggalos are generally looked down upon by "normal" members of society, thought of as losers, degenerates or outright criminals -- even, most recently, as a full-fledged gang by the FBI. In keeping with these prejudices, the Gathering itself is subject to wild speculation by people who have never attended, in regards to its debauchery and unhinged behavior.

Some of these preconceived notions are warranted, and some are not. Here are a few of our first impressions of the Gathering, now that we have spent a full day on the grounds. 

We probably are not going to be murdered by Juggalos here.

See also: 10 Must-Have Items When Camping with Thousands of Juggalos

When I initially volunteered for this assignment, many of my friends and family members assumed that this would be the last they would ever see or hear from me. I would be quickly outed as an interloper, it was assumed, and would shortly thereafter be subjected to the glee-filled pool-ball-in-a-sock wrath of the Juggalo Family. The band's "psychopathic clown" motif and violent imagery seem to lend credence to this notion, but in reality nearly every person that we have come in contact with has been very nice. 

One thing to consider is that this is the one event of the year at which these misunderstood societal misfits can gather in large groups without fear of ridicule or judgment from outsiders. Truly, the inmates are running the asylum. In keeping, attendees wander around with joy in their crazy clown hearts and smiles on their painted faces. The calls of "Family!" and "Woop woop!" are each shouted in order to express solidarity between kindred spirits, about every ten steps or so.

See also: The 2013 Gathering of the Juggalos Opens Up (NSFW)

One caveat: Information for the press included a list of tips -- things like "bring mosquito netting" and "wear sunscreen." Also on this list was an explanation concerning the "woop woop" and "family" call-outs. It was strongly recommended that when someone says these things to you, you should most definitely respond in kind. The repercussions of not doing so were not made clear, but suffice to say, I have loudly been parroting back clown-love to all who have expressed it in my direction. I suppose that could possibly help explain my continued survival.

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Nate "Igor" Smith
Juggalos are savvy entrepreneurs.

Everyone everywhere is selling something. Most of it is drugs, of course -- this is a music festival, after all. But more on that aspect in a minute. More interesting are the out-of-the-box oddball ways people have been making money. Take, for example, the man with the "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. His pants were barely able to stay up, due to the weight of the jangling coins in his pockets. He even paid his way into the festival with change. 

Elsewhere, a man with an unreal amount of facial tattoos had dollar bills stapled all over his body pitched his talent like a carnival barker. "Step right up, one dollar! This is a real staple gun; this ain't that fucking kiddie shit like you used to do when you were a kid. This shit really hurts." I probably saw twenty blood-smeared dollars hanging off his skin.

Then there was the topless girl offering "boob squeezes" for only $3. Yes, there were takers.

Continue on for more on the 1) drugs 2) boobs and 3) potential for violence at the Gathering of the Juggalos.


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