I'm Going Broke Dating My Lady. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
SHE KNOWS I'M NOT RICH, SO WHY DOES SHE ACT LIKE I AM?
Dear Willie D:
I've been with my girlfriend for a few months. Things are mostly really good in the relationship except one thing: we argue about money occasionally. I'm divorced with kids, and have been struggling just to make mortgage payments since I no longer have a spouse's income to help with the bills. My girlfriend makes more than I do and doesn't have kids to support, and she's aware I have a lot more expenses than she does.
At first we took turns paying for dates, but lately I'm picking up the tab more often than not. It came to a head recently when she offered to pay half the hotel bill for a weekend trip that was my idea. I accepted her offer, but later she let me know she was pissed. I ended up paying for it and just about everything else on the trip, and she was happy.
She is an independent woman in a lot of ways, but she wants to be taken care of. I think it's comforting and makes her feel secure. I'm kind of old-fashioned myself and ideally I'd be reaching for the check every time. But I'm living check-to-check myself and there's no promotion in sight anytime soon. She's cool with staying in and us cooking at one of our places some nights, but other times she'll say she'd rather go out and I usually pay even when it's her idea.
I don't want to be a cheapskate, but I don't want to shortchange my kids because I had to pay for dinner, a movie or concert, drinks at the club and brunch the next day. What do you think about my situation?
You're dating the wrong girl.
A MOTHER & HER WILD KIDS
Dear Willie D:
I absolutely hate people who let their kids run amuck in public. I live in Los Angeles. While waiting at the gate on my connecting flight from Phoenix to Washington, D.C., I observed three of the most disruptive children ever. I'm assuming they were siblings because they all had sandy-brown hair and looked alike. As they ran around the terminal bumping into passengers, stepping on toes, and screaming, their mother just sat there shaking her head. Occasionally she would cry out "Stop it," "Don't do that" or "Say excuse me." But other than that she seemed clueless as to what to do about her untamed munchkins.
I gave the little rugrats a hard stare a few times and shook my head at their mom in disgust which is about all I felt empowered to do to indicate my disapproval of her kids' behavior. I'm interested in knowing what you would have done had you been in my position.
Disgusted With Disruptive Kids:
I hear you. Not only do I hate people who let their kids run amuck, I also hate the kids [laughing]. No seriously, I love the kids.
I was at a theme park recently with my son, my sister and her daughter. As we waited in line every few steps I took a little girl kept stepping on the back of my sandal. I gave her the mean mug a couple of times. Then after the umpteenth time, I looked down at my feet then gave the dad a scowl. Still he was totally oblivious to what was happening. I gathered myself and the next time she did it I turned to the dad and politely said, "She keeps stepping on my feet." The dad addressed it with her and that was that. Problem solved.
Oftentimes parents are so overwhelmed with making sure their kids are safe from strangers that they forget to protect strangers from their kids. The next time you feel someone's out-of-control kid is invading your space, address it with the parent. In most cases as long as you're tactful you'll receive a favorable resolution. Parents don't like giving people excuses to chastise their kids.
p.s. I think some kids are just predisposed to acting like animals in public. Why do you think the equipment they play on is called a jungle gym?