I'm a Secretly Pregnant Junior in High School

Categories: ask willie d

THE PASTOR'S DAUGHTER
Dear Willie D:

I live at home with my mom and dad, who is a pastor. So I'm expected to act in a way that's conducive to being the preacher's daughter. He doesn't want me to go on dates, hang out after ten o'clock at night, or spend any time alone with boys. That was all fine and dandy a couple of years ago, but I'm 19 years old now. I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a woman with a need to be liberated and open to explore my sexual energy.

He doesn't know but I have had a boyfriend for the past six months. We have kissed and have come close to having intercourse a few times. Of course this is very frustrating to my boyfriend. Like any guy, he wants to go all the way and so do I but not without my dad's blessings.

A lot of daughters wouldn't care what their dad thought about their sex life but I do. I feel guilty going behind his back to have a relationship. At the same time, because of his strictness I don't know how to approach him to have a conversation about the matter.

I want to tell my dad about my boyfriend so bad, but I feel that he will be disappointed in me because he is always telling everybody how much of a good girl I am. How do I express to him that I need more freedom and tell him about my boyfriend without starting World War III?

Pastor's Daughter:

Your dad isn't a fool. He knows at some point the day will come when he has to relinquish his post as the central man in your life. Fathers of daughters silently suffer for years dreading the moment we have to let go. Subsequently, we will hold on as long as possible to our baby girls because that's what we do. Most 19-year-olds on a mission for freedom would just move out.

If you're not quite ready to leave the nest, go to your dad and express how you feel about not being allowed to date and come home late. Remind him of all the times you did the right thing, not just because it was the right thing but also because you have self-respect and you didn't want to let him down. He may not like it but he will get over it.

Now here's the kicker; do you reveal to him that you've been secretly dating your boyfriend for six months, or do you omit your relationship status and introduce him as your new boyfriend some time in the near future? They say honesty is the best policy; however, sometimes reporting a minor infraction can get your policy canceled. In that case what your dad don't know won't hurt him.


MY FRIEND IS CHEATING ON HER HUSBAND
Dear Willie D:

I'm a married woman whose friend is having an affair with her husband's boss. I have told her to end it but she will not listen. I'm a good friend to both her and her husband.

Although I met him through her, I view their friendships equally. I want to tell him but I don't know how. I feel horrible withholding this information whenever we're all together but I don't want to be responsible for their breakup. What are my options?

Good Friend:

The fact that you have no priority allegiance to either friend puts you on a slippery slope with no breaks. Besides telling your friend to end the affair, there's not much you can do but be there to support her and her husband if or when the wheels fall off of their relationship.

If you insist on notifying the husband of his cheating wife, be sure to strap on full body armor because although people like being well-informed, when the news is bad they will often shoot the messenger. If I were you, I would stay out of it.


PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D

I Allow My 8-Year-Old To Drink Alcohol. Help!

My Man's Junk Is Just Too Big. Help!

The Man I've Been Seeing Online Doesn't Know I'm a Man. Help!

Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next week for more of his best answers.

See Also:
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My Voice Nation Help
15 comments
Natasha Mayton
Natasha Mayton

More than likely the mom won't kick the girl out, unless her mother is truly a horrible person. But, she does need to go to a doctor to get proper treatment and find some outlets for support if she is put out.

Jason Brock
Jason Brock

He lost me on the last question, why should she support WW?

Meredith Gulley
Meredith Gulley

Horrible advice given to this girl, she clearly feels she cant turn to anyone and we dont know her situation her mother could in fact kick her out, there is help out there and writing into RFT isnt the help she needs

macsqueen
macsqueen

this is not the time to degrade anyone....regardless of how and why she is pregnant it`s irrelevant now...the bigger picture besides the baby`s faith is why our children so scared to talk to their parents...we say tell us any and everything first as a comfort place to go when in need...then downgrade them when they do...that's why they don't...aww ok...I know way too much about my boys ages 21/22/24...and I have a 5yr old don't wont be quiet...hopefully she will stay that way when it matters the most...ijs don't scare them into hiding...

Phillip McClure
Phillip McClure

Cat is out of the bag now. No, wait that cat has been out.

Brian Brown
Brian Brown

But it's no secret you get around . Lol

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