Guys, Predatory Dance Floor Boners are Not OK
We find that the best line of defense in these scenarios is to turn around, look the guy directly in the eye and tell him you need your personal space, or that you'd prefer to dance with your friends.
If the guy is especially thickheaded, you might have to separate yourself or physically move his hands off you. It's also cool to just tell him that's it's not OK for him to touch you without your permission. No matter your tactic, upon disengagement, the guy will usually stand there for ten to fifteen seconds and then just walk away. If he doesn't, move to a different part of the dance floor; you don't need a lurking boner affecting your fun.
Gentleman, listen: We don't know where you learned the boner sidle, but know that it's a frat party throwback that is both territorial and uninspired. You're throwing off our balance by holding our hips like that, and who said you could touch us, anyway? It's not even a fun way to dance. Oh, and we don't want to feel your goddamn boners near our butts.
There are so many legitimately charming ways to approach a woman on the dance floor. Try any of these: Smile at us! Make eye contact! Bust some moves! If you wanna dance, guys, let's dance. But let's do so in a fun, mutually beneficial way that involves more actual dancing and less of you creeping up behind us and attempting to stake territory with your genitals.
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