Six Music Acts That Should Have Been Pro Wrestlers

Categories: Nitpick Six

2. Immortal
"The Blizzard Beasts"

Immortal is a Norweigan black metal band. They had a video where someone was breathing fire and another member of the band was wearing a witch's hat. The band's former guitarist, Demonaz, got tendinitis in his arm from shredding so fast all the time. They also all have beautiful hair.

Finishing Move: "The Church Burner" - Frontman Abbath breathes fire while Immortal's beefy drummer Horgh performs a Satanic ritual around the collapsed body of their foe. The lights in the arena spontaneously turn off and when they turn on a few minutes later, all that remains is a smoldering pile of bones.

1. John Popper
"Blue Bayou Boy"

Everyone knows that John Popper lost a lot of weight and stopped wearing that cool fishing vest. But had he chosen a different path, the formerly heavy harmonica howler could've entered the wrestling world as the Blue Bayou Boy, a down-home big ol' boy with a penchant for literally throwing his weight around. As I'm looking up pictures of the guy, the idea runs through my head that maybe I shouldn't be making jokes about a dude who got arrested with fourteen weapons in his car. While probably pretty stoned.

Finishing Move: "The Popper's Popper Popper" - the Blues Traveler initiates a devastating chokehold and forces his opponent to huff some amyl nitrite (otherwise known as a "popper"). Our soulful hero then climbs to the top and performs a seated butt drop on the dazed challenger. After being announced as the winner, his coach dumps a bucket of crayfish over his head.

See Also:
- The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue
- Ten Bands You Never Would Have Thought Used to Be Good
- The Top 15 Things That Annoy the Crap Out of Your Local Sound Guy

Follow RFT Music on Twitter or Facebook. Follow RFT Music editor Daniel Hill on Twitter too, if you are into that sort of thing.


My Voice Nation Help
1 comments
dddstenzel
dddstenzel

have you ever heard that one episode of Loveline where John popper discusses how, only weeks earlier he had attempted his first try at cunnilingus?  also have you ever seen those episodes of Monday night raw where Jerry Only tries to wrestle?

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Clubs

St. Louis Event Tickets
Loading...