Here's What a GWAR Super Bowl Halftime Show Would Be Like, According to GWAR
We would stage our own, with the cheerleaders of all the teams being thrown into pits full of starving hell-hounds. After we are satisfied that there simply are no more shitty pop stars to be killed, or hot chicks to be eaten, the second half can begin.
The orgy of violence would continue unabated until the severed heads of the league's top players decorated the goalposts. The field would be a bloody mush, indistinguishable from the slaughter-fields of Verdun. But we wouldn't stop with just the teams playing. Our orgy of death would continue until every player, coach, referee and especially OWNER in the N.F.L. was reduced to a sodden lump of human wreckage, stabbed, torn and stomped into pulp to the soundtrack of GWAR's bestial grunting.
But it will not end so easily...at that point we would attack the very fans that had been cheering madly until that point. We would launch an armored assault into the stadium with the goal of slaying all 100,000-plus in attendance (and, for some reason, anyone watching on TV would die too).
Trying to escape would be met at the exits by legions of our scimitar-wielding Slaves. And as this simply supreme show of colossal carnage reached the height of hatred and horror, we would channel the necrotic power of the uber-death, and summon from the mass-grave of screaming souls a 300-foot tall golem of famed meth-cook and fictional character Walter White, who would leap into the air and beginning vomiting his trademark blue-meth all over the surface of your soon-to-be-totally-tweaked world.
This is how GWAR would "play" the Super Bowl.
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