How to Not Get Groped By a Frat Guy

sororitygirls.jpg
Timothy Norris
Ladies, let's not stand for this.
Recently, this disgusting letter was sent to Georgia Tech's Phi Kappa Tau members to teach them to hook up with drunk co-eds at parties. With lines like, "if anything ever fails, go get more alcohol," it reads like a date-rape manual.

But while frat parties have long been gross, the reality is that girls will keep showing up to such events as long as there is EDM and blue UV vodka. And so we offer step-by-step suggestions on how college gals can respond to this stupid manual -- and shut down these smug, collar-popped asshats.

See also: Guys, Predatory Dance Floor Boners Are Not OK

We begin where the Phi Kappa Tau letter begins: with introductions. The writers instruct:

First, introduce yourself and get their name, ask if they are having a good time, and then ask if they want anything to drink. If they say yes, walk them to the bar and tell them what we have to drink.

This might seem like basic polite party behavior, but since a fraternity is an alternate universe, it's best to assume the worst. So, first, make up a fake name, preferably something foreign and hard to pronounce. Then procure your own red plastic cup of Natty Ice, and make sure to keep your eye on it, lest it be roofied.

The letter continues:

If they say no and they look like they are in a sorority, ask them if they are in a sorority (DUH). If not, choose one of the following: where are you living, where are you from, have you been here before, how are classes going, or where all have you been tonight. Then proceed to have a conversation.

Tell him you're living in a utility closet in student union, that classes are mostly focused on medieval weaponry and that you've got bad gas from all the Mexican food you ate earlier.

Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don't to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low (dont try to finger her... yet).

Slowly distance yourself from his raging genitals, putting your hands across your chest and making sure to tell him how much he reminds you of your brother every time he grazes your tits. Try not to slap him across the face...yet.


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29 comments
JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

If he gets grabby, just say you can't stay out too late. You have a high school paper to write, and your dad has been known to send one of his deputies to get you. Damn GPS tracking in your cell phone.

The battle of the sexes has been going on for years. Women know how to handle themselves. Just do not get drunk or high. Keep your girlfriend close. Do not let the guys separate you. If someone gets too grabby - its called an assault and battery - call the cops. End of the party. Do not allow yourself to be victims. Set the standard of behavior where it needs to be.

Mike Bournstein
Mike Bournstein

I met my wife at a frat party, my fraternity, and then I married her. That was 25 years ago.

Jason Starek
Jason Starek

This picture is not a good way to avoid getting groped...

Laura Dee
Laura Dee

Inciting action to harm another person (ie writing a letter encouraging frat boys to rape drunk women) is not protected by the First Amendment.

perock
perock topcommenter

lmao... this article is fantastic. I hate being a male because of douches like this. Good on you Katie Bain. Fantastic reactions.

Laura Dee
Laura Dee

I still want the "How to not grope girls at a frat party" article that places the blame where it belongs.

Jim Wood
Jim Wood

that lady that wrote the reply was so mean.

Connor Jordan
Connor Jordan

Of course an email that one frat guy writes instantly makes every man in a fraternity a rapist. Yep, I'm pledging a fraternity so all I ever see when I look at a girl is another thing to screw and throw away once I'm done. This is just blatant stereotyping that is, in many cases from what I have seen, boundless. I refer to myself as a fraternity gentleman and I conduct myself as such.

Hannah Williams
Hannah Williams

You are getting yourself grouped with the disgusting people who wrote and used this letter by slut shaming.

Hannah Williams
Hannah Williams

SlicRic Kohn, a woman should be able to wear and say whatever the hell she wants and not worry about being raped. That should go without saying. And using alcohol to get a woman in bed is actually classified as rape. A person cannot give consent while inebriated.

Stacy Mariebeck
Stacy Mariebeck

So what you're saying is, if a man treats a woman disrespectfully, it's her fault?

TomTucker
TomTucker

Attempting to rape a female by any means should always result in the attempters immediate death. 

TomTucker
TomTucker

Attempting to rape a female by any means should quickly be followed by his death.

Madeline Grace
Madeline Grace

The letter passed around this particular fraternity is disgusting and horrifying, but to generalize all fraternity members like that is really ignorant and unfair.

Rick Kohn
Rick Kohn

So, it's ok to look and act like a slut, but not to be treated like one?

Ben Manson
Ben Manson

also i love " try not to slap him across the face... yet"

Ben Manson
Ben Manson

Laura, he shouldn't be punished, I adamently support free speech. He should be educated. That's really the peice missing. I bet if he went though shock therapy (like shock value, where they hit YOU with the situation to call to your attention how it affects others with BIG real life examples not like the 1950's shock therapy) he would rebuke his own article. Free speech works both ways :)

Kevin Rudroff
Kevin Rudroff

John the prophet of logical thinking and usefully exercises to enhance the brains smart areas

John Prophet
John Prophet

I have an idea - DON'T go to any frat parties and don't hang out with douchebag fratboys. Problem solved!

Laura Dee
Laura Dee

You've got this backwards. The responsibility for not getting raped shouldn't be only on the woman's head. Where's the 'how to pick up women in a respectful manner" article? Was the frat even punished for handing out this bile??

Ben Ricker
Ben Ricker

Apply knee to ball sack. Repeat.

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

wrong. Girls wearing bikinis do not deserve to be groped. Neither should these young ladies. I do not care what a girl wears, uninvited groping is assault. that's a crime. You make it sound like every guy out there is a potential criminal based on what the girl wears. Sorry, not the case. The majority of men know how to respect and treat a female regardless of her clothing, lack of it, or her sobriety.

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

yes. Not even a slut (pick your definition) deserves to be mistreated.

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