Six Musicians That Rule Despite Their Music

Categories: Nitpick Six

4. Robyn

Well, OK, Robyn's music isn't the worst thing in the world. But it's a crime when compared to how entertaining she is to watch. Check out this SNL performance where she looks like a Romulan with brain damage at a private rave. If you haven't had enough, violently stare at the video for "Konichiwa Bitches," where the Swedish pop star is a boxer, astronaut, bumblebee, nurse, construction worker, nerd, and cat burglar in thirty seconds.

3. Steve Vai

Steve Vai is to instrumental guitar as Criss Angel is to magic -- a flashy innovator of an activity studied exclusively by Applebee's waiters. His dedicated wankery has delighted creatively vacant businessmen as PowerPoint presentation soundtracks for years. all the while torturing the rest of us. While it'd be great to slam the guy through and through, there are some undeniably awesome things about him.

Vai actually got his start with Frank Zappa, which automatically boosts your credibility by about a thousand points. Pair that with having a singer, Devin Townsend, that later went on to create one of the greatest metal albums ever (Strapping Young Lad's City) and you've got to respect the guy on some level.

Oh, and he's a fucking beekeeper. Here's a picture of him holding holding a jar of honey. Totally not urine. Probably.


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15 comments
Styles Baker
Styles Baker

The man just gets it! Sure his music isn't for everyone but he is as authentic as it gets. Having said that, what third grade classroom did you find this article in?;)

Mitch Martin
Mitch Martin

Kid Rock came over and played for us in Baghdad in 2009. He was told to get off the stage before dark due to mortar threats. He said F that, if you guys are here risking it I will too! He's been a bad ass in my book since that day.

Christy Beem
Christy Beem

I don't like Nicki Minaj's music at all, but she seems like a very cool lady. She's mindful of trans* people when talking about gender, has numerous feminist quotes, and released a line of clothing for KMart even though she could have done one for a more upscale line. She did that because she wanted cool clothing to be available to everyone, not just people with hundreds to spend on a pair of pants. So I'm not listening to her music, but I've got respect for her. And I just realized that I think I put more detail and examples into this comment than there were for any section of this article...

Brandon Herges
Brandon Herges

So Kid Rock "rules", while the Clash and Social Distortion 'suck'? C'mon, we can do better than this crap, STL.

Andy Knight
Andy Knight

Another one for Kid Rock (can't stand his music) is how he handles the front rows, with a system that takes them away from the ticket brokers, rich and connected and insures that his common fans get those seats.

Kristina Williams
Kristina Williams

this list is fucking stupid. if i wanted this kind of shit, id read buzzfeed.

Roger Ellis Estill
Roger Ellis Estill

The only people I ever heard of on this list is John Mayer and Kid Rock.

Adam Robinson
Adam Robinson

Hahah the John Mayer bit is great. Prince did a tour where tickets were a flat $25

Carly Higdon
Carly Higdon

Perfect! And I have been twice to Kid Rock now and I'm a believer!

andrewrobertailes
andrewrobertailes topcommenter

god damn it, the only difference between the two is that one has hair

RFT Music
RFT Music

Whoops! Thanks for the catch

Nick Calcaterra
Nick Calcaterra

You beat me to it Keith. Hey, this guy still gets paid his 5 cents a word or w/e.

Keith Kettmann
Keith Kettmann

Whoever wrote this article needs to check their facts. Joe Satriani was the guitarist with the Silver Surfer on the cover (Surfing with the Alien), not Vai.

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